Thursday, September 30, 2010


After reading Twix's post about her Hot 100 goals it got me to think about my own goals. 

Goals are a good thing.  We are about to embark upon the fourth quarter of 2010 tomorrow.  It is October already.  Can you believe it?  It seems like it should only be the end of March instead of the end of September.  Where did April through September go?

Okay, where was I?  Oh yeah - goals.  So what are mine?  What would I like to achieve before the clock strikes midnight on January 1st.  Good question.  I guess I should make a list.
  1. marry Colin Firth
  2. win the lottery
  3. build a dream house that John Gidding (HGTV) would die with envy over
What?  Those are goals.  They might be unobtainable and unrealistic in any sort of tangible way, but they are goals.  But lets get real.  What can I reasonably expect to accomplish in the 92 days remaining in this year?

#1 - I CAN continue doing cardio based exercise.  This is the one thing I have done well this year.  I may have slipped into the familiar and diet killing emotional eating trap, but I never stopped moving.  It is probably the reason why I only gained back 40 pounds.  I may have gone back to the fridge, but I did not return to the couch!  I walked a minimum of 2 miles per day at least 5 days per week. 

#2 - I CAN add strength based exercise.  I must confess that this intimidates me.  I can walk with the best of them.  I have endurance and speed and am far more fit than a lot of my much-thinner friends/associates.  Using equipment is a little scary.  I am someone that doesn't like to do anything that she doesn't do well and I know there will be a learning curve.  Thus the fear.  But I've read a lot about kettlebells and weighted balls in recent days.  I see that Jillian Michaels has a Shred with Weights DVD.  I am going to pick them all up and start doing this.  More muscle = More fat burning.  I want me some of that real bad.

#3 - I CAN continue keeping the simple sugars out of my diet.  This one is already a work in progress.  I've been on the no white carbs, reduced sugar plan for a little over a month now and I've already noticed big changes in my body's shape and how my clothes fit.

#4 - I CAN keep a food diary.  I have already started in on this one.  If you take a peek at the sidebar I am posting pics of everything I eat now.  It is easier than food blogging and will help me notice trends in my weight loss and make adjustments if need be.

#5 - I CAN stop listening to the fat girl inside.  Seriously, when am I going to take some control here?  I am not 370 pounds anymore.  I am not the woman that sits in her cube at work and doesn't speak to anyone.  I am not the woman whose best relationships are with her fridge, her couch and her tv.  Yet this is the hardest thing for me at this point.  The fat girl in my head is still running the show most of the time.  I let too many things pass me by because I am still living in fear because she makes all of the decisions.  Am I going to continue to let someone that no longer exists run my life?  I have got to stop letting her.  This is my battleground.  It is my struggle.

So, tell me, what are your goals?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hello Again

I've been thinking a lot about the blog in recent days. I up and abandoned it for a good long while (over a year). Yet I always meant to come back. So here I am.

The ticker has been updated to show my current weight and regression of progress. It wasn't too terribly bad. I didn't go and regain all of what I had lost but it was a sizable amount. So sizable, in fact, that I was beginning to freak all the way out about whether or not I was on a permanent backward slide to super morbid obesity. But I managed to put a stop to a rather foolish decision to allow an emotional upheaval to cause me to reach for food for comfort (like I've never done that before?) rather than dealing with what was causing the distress in the first place.

So, what is next? Well I have decided to not put such immense pressure on myself to take off more pounds than I should by shortchanging myself on nutrition. I'm eating regular sensible, well-balanced meals. The major change is that I have totally eliminated white flour, pasta, rice and potatoes from my diet. I'm also focusing on not eating anything with over 5g of sugar per serving. It is having a tremendous effect on the shape of my body. My abdominal area is shrinking at a much faster rate than it ever did before. My pants fit much better as well. I am extremely happy about that because it is the one area that was changing the least before I cut out the white and the high sugar foods. I am in a better place than I was before I put the 40 or so pounds back on. I am taking things one day at a time and it is working out pretty darned well.

I hope to get around the blog world sometime this weekend and see what my old favorites are up to and how you all are doing. I am already back on Twitter.

Is anyone watching Biggest Loser? I think I am going to love this season.