Sunday, October 31, 2010

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 7

scrambled eggs w/ cheese, veggie sausage and coffeeBreakfast: Scrambled eggs w/ cheese and veggie sausage plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).
WW Points: 9 / Calories: 425

bean, soyrizo, cheese and sour cream tacosLunch: Bean, soyrizo, cheese and sour cream tacos (3).
WW Points: 11 / Calories: 505

Water: 80 oz consumed

Total Calories: 925 calories
Total Points: 20 WW points

I had intended to eat dinner but never got around to it.  Sunday is the day that I cook a few dishes for the week that I can reheat.  I made roasted green beans and cauliflower, mashed acorn squash and stuffed zucchini with blue cheese this week.  By the time I finally finished around 8PM it was just too late to eat and I am not really all that hungry.  My lunch was pretty darned filling.

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 6

eggs, feta on portobello & veggie sausageBreakfast: Eggs over easy, feta cheese atop a portobello mushroom with pico de gallo and veggie sausage plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).
WW Points: 11 / Calories: 490

butternut squash, ground veggie burger & mozarella cheeseLunch: Butternut Squash, ground veggie burger and mozzarella cheese.
WW Points: 5 / Calories: 260

Farmhouse Salad w/ ground veggie burger and balsamic vinegarDinner: Farmhouse salad with ground veggie burger and balsamic vinegar.
WW Points: 7 / Calories: 325

Water: 72 oz consumed

Total Calories: 1075 calories
Total Points: 23 WW points

I should have eaten a little more but I had a lazy, stay at home day.

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 5

Coffee - 3 cupsBreakfast: Coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).  I was not in the mood to eat breakfast this morning.
WW Points: 2 / Calories: 70

Greek salad w/ chickenLunch: Greek Salad w/ Grilled Chicken.  This was my lunch instead of the pizza that was ordered in for lunch.  I will not be compelled to break my diet for social situations.
WW Points: 19 / Calories: 850

Delicata squash fries & laughing cow cheeseDinner: Delicata Squash Fries.  Idea:  Roni.  I cut the squash into shoestring size and flavored it with red pepper flakes, cumin, and chili powder.
WW Points: 4 / Calories:170

Water: 80 oz consumed

Total Calories: 1090 calories
Total Points: 25 WW points

I feel very good about today's choices.

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hello, Luby's? Save Me A Seat

I've had a long, brain draining day finalizing a report that has been badly needed for years.  The system wasn't in place to house the data.  The data wasn't in place to populate the report.  I've been working for months on making the crap system we have work for us.  And I really pushed myself hard to write and deliver the report by the end of this week.

Now?  I am exhausted.

It is official.  I am an old woman.  I am going to bed at 7:00 at night.

I suppose I should just make my daily 4:00 PM reservations at Luby's and be done with the descent into elderhood.

I'll post today's Double Dog Dare Challenge report tomorrow.  I can't even think about counting anything right now except for sheep.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 4

oatmeal pumpkin cups, whipped cream cheese & veggie sausageBreakfast: Oatmeal Pumpkin Cups (with whipped cream cheese), veggie sausage and coffee (with unsweetened soy milk).
WW Points: 8 / Calories: 460

mushroom swiss burger (sans bun) & Cesar saladLunch: Mushroom/Swiss Burger (no bun) and Cesar side salad (no croutons).
WW Points: 14 / Calories: 620

Pumpkin Oatmeal CupsDinner: Pumpkin Oatmeal Cups (2).
WW Points: 4 / Calories: 200

Water: 72 oz consumed

Total Calories: 1280 calories
Total Points: 26 WW points

Today was an exhausting day.  I ate well though, so no complaints.

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Pumpkin & Oatmeal In A Cup

I made a batch of Roni's Pumpkin Oatmeal Cups tonight. I added cranberries to part of the batter and I think that they came out beautifully.

If you are looking for some new dishes to try with diet-friendly, healthy recipes then you cannot go wrong with Green Lite Bites.

Update: I had them for breakfast this morning (Thursday) and they are really good. I modified the recipe slightly by using Splenda Brown Sugar instead and going from 1/3 cup to 1/4 cup and I am glad that I did. They were pleasantly sweet, but not overwhelmingly so. The cranberries added a nice tartness. I think I will add some orange rind the next time I make these.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 3

egg, soyrizo, cheese tacos & veggie sasuageBreakfast: Egg, soyrizo (soy chorizo - muy yummy), cheese tacos & veggie sausage.  What was the world like without breakfast tacos?
WW Points: 12 / Calories: 540

stuffed zucchini & peasLunch:  Leftover stuffed zucchini from Monday's lunch along with some peas.
WW Points: 8 / Calories:  430

bananaSnack: Banana
WW Points: 2 / Calories: 120

Muenster cheese - 4 slicesDinner: Muenster Cheese (4 slices). I had a long day and had zero interest in even thinking about dinner.
WW Points: 9 / Calories: 280

Water: 84 oz consumed

Total Calories:  1370 calories
Total Points:  31 WW points

I am comfortable eating in the 1250-1500 calorie range.  I think you can see that I eat real food and don't attempt to starve myself to get a lower number on a scale.  I've done that.  It set me back the last time and caused me to regain 40 lbs (also due to emotional eating) because I wasn't doing anything other than tricking the scale by eating far less than I should.  My approach now is to be laid back about the weight loss thing, eat a well balanced diet and get my butt up off the couch for regular exercise.

I have a plan.  I prepare to execute the plan.  I follow the plan, day in and day out.  And I don't let the calendar drive my goals anymore.  By taking a step back from the "OMG did I lose 2 ounces yesterday" approach and simply doing the work day to day I am seeing real lasting results.   I want to see a lower number.  I expect to see a lower number if I am doing the work.  It still takes work to not let the scale determine my motivation.  However, consistent diet and exercise will get me to my goal.  That is an absolute fact.

I keep reading about people struggling with drinking their water. My plan is simple. I drink a 16 oz glass every 2 hours at work. By the end of the day I have had 64 oz of water. When I get home I drink one or two 20 oz glasses of water. Plan your water like you plan your diet and exercise and then it is a snap to get it all in.

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 2

egg, blue cheese portobello mushroom sandwich & coffee w/ soy milkBreakfast: My new favorite breakfast!  Eggs over easy, feta cheese atop a portobello mushroom with pico de gallo.  It is comfort food at its finest.
WW Points: 6 / Calories: 260
acorn squash w/ rosemary and asiago, broccoli & veggie burgerLunch:  Mashed acorn squash with a dash of rosemary and a sprinkle of asiago cheese paired with broccoli and a tomato basil veggie burger. I also added a tbsp of butter to the squash.
WW Points: 13 / Calories: 645

string cheeseSnack:  String Cheese
WW Points: 2 / Calories:80

avacodo spring rolls & honeydew melonDinner: Avocado Spring Roll and Honeydew Melon from Central Market.  Fast food doesn't have to be unhealthy.
WW Points: 8 / Calories: 310

Water: 84 oz consumed

Total Calories:  1295 calories
Total Points:  29 WW points

I made my calorie goal for the challenge but went over my goal of 25 WW points. I had a bit more fat today than normal with the tbsp of butter in the squash and the avocado for dinner. All in all I am pleased with the day.  I am not really doing anything different for the challenge than I normally do other than actually counting calories and points and even then it is only to get the tally.  I feel really good that the choices that I am now making.  Seeing the calorie count is reaffirming that I am on the right track now and I don't have to expend huge energy on tracking every little thing that goes into my mouth if I am making good choices from the get go.

I want to take a stroll around blogland and see how everyone is doing but my eyes are getting heavy right now so I think it is best to go to bed.  I hope everyone on the challenge (or not) had a great healthy day.  See y'all tomorrow.

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 1

egg, blue cheese portobello mushroom sandwich & coffee w/ soy milkBreakfast: Allan's bagel breakfast sandwiches have had me drooling, but I am not eating bread.  It is a huge no-no for me.  So I came up with portobello mushroom sandwich instead.
WW Points: 7 / Calories: 370

stuffed zucchini &spinachLunch:  Today's lunch was inspired by Roni's Stuffed Zucchini Pizza Style.  I modified it by adding Morning Star Farms Italian Sausage and by substituting tomato sauce and mozarella cheese. 
WW Points: 8 / Calories: 390

bananaSnack:  Banana
WW Points: 2 / Calories:120

oatmeal w/ peanut butterDinner: Oatmeal with Peanut Butter
WW Points: 7 / Calories: 340

Water: 76 oz consumed

Total Calories:  1220 calories
Total Points:  24 WW points

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

WSR: Weight 250.6 - Weight Left To Lose 80.6

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 250.6 lbs
Pounds Lost: 119.4 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 80.6 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 32.27%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 59.70%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 39.2
BMI Lost:18.7

My scale, the nameless evil b@stard, decided to mess with me all week.  He refused to let me show a loss until today despite staying on plan and getting some exercise.

For the record I am down 1.6 pounds since last week.  I am flipping overjoyed at this because this week is THAT week.  I didn't gain.  That shows you how on plan I have been.  I am sorry for the reference for any of you possessing a y chromosome but seriously fellows, this stuff happens to us.  It ain't pretty and asking us to do this without a truckload of chocolate each month is just inhumane.  I haven't had chocolate since August!  The fact that I haven't gone postal yet is merely the presence of the Lord God Himself in my life.  I know, this is a act of faith and not science but I gotta recognize Who graces me with whatever it is that I need to do this incredibly hard thing in the first place.

In the 8 weeks I have been back on plan I have lost 26.4 pounds.

Onward and downward y'all!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Well, If It Is A Double Dog Dare ...

Allan, he of the science can't be wrong school of prophecy, has issued a Double Dog Dare.  This challenge is not for the faint of heart because I have the tiniest inkling of a feeling that he might just check up on anyone who signs up and woe is you if you fail to follow the rules laid out below.

  • 2 WEEKS, STARTING 10/25/2010

Oh great, now I have to weigh in tomorrow. I'll do it, but I am NOT happy about it.

Update:  My starting weight is 250.6.  My goal weight is 170.  I will eat no more than 1870 calories/25 WW points per day.

Cravings And Temptations

Yesterday was rife with cravings and temptations.

I went to the company picnic and the food was fajitas with all the fixings. Instead of consuming a high fat/high carb meal I opted for 6 oz of chicken, 1/3 cup diced tomatoes, a tsp of sour cream and about a tbsp of beans (no rice, chips, cheese or flour tortillas for me). Mexican food is my favorite food so I am extra proud of staying on plan.

Then last night I wanted ice cream and cookies so freaking bad. I don't keep such crap in my house for just that reason. When the cravings hit I would dive head first into the freezer. A sandwich shop is located just down stairs and around the corner from my apartment that has both ice cream and these chocolate/chocolate chip cookies that I <3 so much. It would have taken me 2 minutes to be at the counter and ordering. What did I do instead? I drank two full glasses of water and went to bed.

Change is hard.

But it is possible.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Is This Thing Stuck?

I have to confess that the scale ain't moving for me this week despite being on plan and exercising.

It is THAT week and as a result I am eating more meat, well chicken, in order to get the protein that I need so that I don't wipe myself out like I did last month.

The disappointment over not seeing the scale tick downward is coupled with the knowledge of why it isn't moving.  Intellectually I am okay with that.   I'm working on the emotional buy in.

This is a marathon.

It isn't a sprint.

As soon as I repeat that to myself about a 1,000 more times then I will be fine.  I'm going to skip my Monday weigh in and stay off the scale until the following week.  I am really hating my little digital frenemy today.

Update:  I wanted to clarify that I am not gaining weight.  I am just not losing it.  THAT week usually brings a 2-5 pound gain (depending upon how well or not well I am doing diet/exercise wise).   So in reality I probably have lost real weight it just won't show up until next week's weigh in.  That Flo is a freaking b*tch sometimes.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Me 1, Temptation 'O Rama 0

The kitchen at work was loaded with carby treats of nearly every variety today:
  • chocolate cake donuts
  • chocolate glazed donuts
  • mini-chocolate cupcakes
  • white birthday cake (it was really baby shower cake)
  • cinnamon rolls
  • coffee cake

I walked right by them and got two glasses of water from the water cooler and my lunch out of the refrigerator (consisting of a black bean burger and mixed veggies BTW).

Can I just say that I cannot wait until January when all of these people go on diets when they make their resolutions?  I may have resisted, but damn that kitchen was like a Satan inspired temptation 'o rama.  Seriously!

And the guy that asked my advice yesterday confessed his sins about his lunch and that he had two of the mini-cupcakes in the kitchen.  I'm like the diet priest or something.  I gave him the guilt part and sent him on his way.

I'm taking the night off from working out.  I ate a bad banana today and I have a stomach ache.  I will spare you the other little gift it brought me.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

My Cheeks Are Caves Or Something

Today I got the best compliment.   One of the guys that I work with paid a visit to ask me about what he should or should not eat on salads because he knows I  know a little something about losing weight.  I gave him the full spiel about what I have learned about diet and exercise.  It was bad.  I was rambling on and on like the grandma with the 1,000 baby pictures.

So after I most assuredly bored him to death he said that my cheeks were almost caving in.

My cheeks?  Caving in?


I'm about to eat a bowl of oatmeal for dinner and then wait an hour to exercise.  The 6:00 AM thing has yet to happen but there are no excuses.  I've got an 8:00ish date with a treadmill that I am going to beat to death.  Then I must tackle some laundry.  My life, it is exciting.  :yawn:

Update:  Done.  3.26 miles in 1 hour.  Ran 2 minutes at 4mph on a 5% incline - seriously insane and thrilling at the same time.  I felt like I was flying.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Plan Ain't Panning Out Yet

The plan to workout at 6:00 AM didn't pan out today either. I was still very sleepy after my lack of sleep the night before.

So now I am sitting here, after having just eaten a bowl of very yummy organic oatmeal with peanut butter and banana, waiting an hour to go work out.

I also am trying to avoid all of the perky skinny people that populate the fitness center downstairs in the early evening hours. I think I am the only chunky person that uses it, like ever. I am the Sesame Street quiz that goes something like "what doesn't belong?" Now, before you go all "you belong" or "you have just as much right to use it", I am clear on that. It is just tough on the ego. I have to fight through all the feelings of inadequacy. I mean, 110 pound blonde girls with perky tatties happily running away make me in my 252 pound largesse feel grossly inadequate.  Not that I want to be 110 pounds.  I want to look normal.  I don't want to look like a skeleton.  Although I am paying a doctor to give me the perky tatties when this is all over.  I ain't working this damned hard to take off the weight to still have ones that point due south.

So, clock it.  At 8:00 PM I will be heading downstairs where I hope to grab a treadmill and pound the hell out of it for an hour.

And how crazy was Biggest Loser last night?  I did not see that happening at all.  Please don't leave any specific spoilers in the comments as not everyone may have seen it yet.

Update: I did it.  Now I have to get a good night's sleep and try to get up at 6:00 AM.  Once I am on the schedule it will be easy.  It is just getting on that is the problem.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

5 Minutes

I ran for 5 consecutive minutes during my time on the treadmill today.

My breathing was heavy.  My heart was racing, but it did not feel like it was trying to burst out of my chest.  I felt strong. I felt fitter.

It was glorious!

I cannot wait until I start the Couch To 5K next month.  I can do this running thing that all the weird people do in all sorts of weather that I have never understood.  I'm going to be weird too.  I mean I am already weird, but this adds another layer to all the weird I've got going on.

Update:  Okay, so this working out before going to work is a whole lot better than waiting until I get home.   Now I can be spud like and watch Biggest Loser without feeling all guilty I haven't exercised.

Monday, October 18, 2010

I Have To Get Up Early & Do What?

I am going to try something different this week.

Starting tomorrow I am going to get up early, hop on the treadmill and get my workout done early.  I had been working out in the evenings but with the change in seasons upon us and the dreaded Standard time looming I don't think I am going to be motivated enough to keep that schedule up.  I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and I can already feel the effects creeping in.

So in the effort not to become a winter couch potato I am going to have to get it done as soon as I can each day.

Alarm is set for 6:00 AM.

I am not a morning person until I have had a minimum of two mugs of coffee.

This should be so much fun. < / sarcasm>

Update:  I hate this time of year.  The SAD really messes with me.  I come home and want to fall into bed at 6:00 PM and then I can't sleep at all.  I got no sleep last night so my 6:00 AM workout did not happen.  I'm taking the morning off from work and do plan on getting on the treadmill before heading out.  I'm doing it, but it wasn't according to plan.  I'm a Virgo and I do love a plan.  So this change up irks me to no end.

WSR: Weight 252.2 - Weight Left To Lose 82.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 252.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 117.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 82.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 31.84%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 58.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 39.5
BMI Lost:18.4

I am down 2.6 pounds this week, bringing the grand total for the 7 weeks I've been back on plan to 24.8 pounds.  Not too shabby.  However, that 2.6 pounds was a hard earned loss by kicking up the exercise this weekend vs. spreading it out over the entire week.  I think I am going to cut the walking at work out and concentrate on higher intensity cardio and strength training at home.  It is not possible to push myself enough simply walking the food court in my building.  I need the DVDs or the treadmill to lead me and show me where I need to step it up.  The diet is good.  I am going to continue doing what I've been doing there.

Onward and downward y'all!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I Got Fries

butternut squash fries and laughing cow cheese wedgeI made Roni's Butternut Squash Fries today for lunch, modifying them by adding chili powder, cumin and red pepper flakes to suit my tastes.  I'm a Texan.  We like spicy foods.

Let me tell you they are so stinking good.  They taste like real fries too.

I cut them thinner so that they would crisp up more and not be soft and it worked.

If you are trying to cut the carbs and sugar out of your diet then you must try these.


I Am A Selfish Bitch

You have to be a Selfish Bitch.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Weekend Fitness: Another Notch

I have exercised every day this week but I feel like it isn't as much as I wanted to do. Per the usual during the work week I walked the food court in my building and didn't put in any strength or high intensity cardio. So this weekend I am kicking it up another notch and doing a mini boot camp on myself.

The plan for both days is to do:
  • Jillian Michaels Shred It with Weights : Level 1
  • Biggest Loser Cardio Max : Level 1
  • 1 set -15 reps with hand weights/kettlebell
  • Treadmill : 5 miles at 4 mph on a 4-5% incline
I've got to walk over to work this morning and grab my tennis shoes.  I forgot them last night as I made a mad dash for the bus to get to the grocery store.  I wanted to get my shopping done early because the weekend rush at Central Market is insane.  It is wall to wall people and nearly impossible to get my shopping done in under an hour no matter what is on my list, and I had a huge list this time because I was down to pretty much nothing at all.  That is a bad thing because if I don't have the right foods on hand it is really easy to make those little compromises and eat the wrong things.  Being Prepared = Being Successful for me.

Well I've got to finish my coffee and read the latest posts in blogland and then get to it.  I've got some sweating to do.

Have a great weekend y'all.

Saturday Update:  7:30 PM DONE.  I burned something close to 1500 calories today - I am pooped.  There is no way I was going to have what it takes to do the kettlebell DVD.

Sunday Update:  I smartened up today and did the Cardio Max DVD first. It is hard to move at full capacity when you are sore from all the walking. I waited until the Cowboys game came on to head down to the fitness center where I did 3.14 miles and I am done.  I had a plan, I did most of it.  I am sore but I feel good knowing that I didn't just put in a token gesture at exercise.  I worked.

Friday, October 15, 2010

How Was Your Day?

I sit here trying to write an interesting blog post and can't really say all that I want to say because there are people that would kick my ass for where my head and my heart are leading me. They also know about this blog and I kind of want to not have my ass kicked if they were to read how quickly I reverted back to dangerous territory.

So, how was your day?

Tomorrow I plan to stay safely at home, watch HGTV, study Visual Basic .NET, eat right, exercise and not count the hours til I can do some more of what I know I shouldn't have done today.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Rewards And Other Things

I decided to reward myself for 6+ weeks of solid dieting and exercise with a major injection of new clothes into my wardrobe.   So I have been out shopping the past two nights after work and have some scored some smaller and cuter outfits.

My pant size is now a size 20 and I have been holding out on buying pants that size for a while now because I wanted to stretch my dollar.  I don't know about you but I cannot run out and buy a whole new wardrobe every time I change a size.  But I am about halfway to a size 18 now and I cannot keep wearing the baggy pants that my 22-24s have turned into - I mean talk about pants on the ground.  Here is a tip, when you are walking on the bottom of your pants it is time to buy new ones (unless you are a rapper and think that somehow looks cool).  Another tip, it really doesn't look cool.  It looks completely stupid.  Just sayin'!

I hit up the Galleria last night and got 4 new tops from New York & Company, 2 from The Limited, 2 from Ann Taylor's LOFT and 1 from Chico's.  Have you guys seen the fall collections at these stores - purple, purple everywhere.  I am going to have to restrain myself from turning into Prince because purple is my absolute favorite color.  Love it!

And then tonight I scored 3 pairs of pants and 2 skirts - all in a size 20.  It felt good to try on pants that fit and didn't swallow me up for a change.  Another thing that feels good is knowing that the next time I buy pants and skirts I will be able to do it at a regular store instead of Avenue or Lane Bryant.  I am almost totally free of the fat girl stores!  Celebrate good times.  Come on!  Come on and celebrate.

As for other things...

I think I am going to have to set up an Ask Kimberly newsletter or something because people are coming out of the woodwork in real life and asking me what I am doing and how they can do it too.  My ego is getting huge y'all.  I'm like the diet superhero living amongst the regular folk.  It is incredible.

Another other thing is something that I knew was coming but I am not quite prepared for it.  I thought I had more time because stupid me thought I had to get to goal and have the body lift surgeries in order to garner male attention.  Um no, evidently it is happening now - flabby old-lady arms and all.  The problem with that is two fold.  One is that I have lived for 20+ years isolated and invisible and never looking anyone in the eye because I was trapped in this morbidly obese shell that was hiding the real me and I am now a socially awkward dork that can't form real words.  The second thing, and really the biggest, is that I care for someone already that is never going to care for me but the feelings exist nonetheless.  The painfully ironic and not funny at all thing is that I can form real words with him and could talk to him endlessly about anything.   It is a bitch, let me tell you.  Everything else is getting better and better by the day and my heart is stuck on what I am never going to have.  Stupid heart.  Oh well.

Okay, so now I am off to read what my favorite reads have been doing for the past two days.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm Versatile & I've Got The Award To Prove It

What is The Versatile Blogger?
1.) Capable of doing many things competently.
2.) Having varied uses or serving many functions
3.) Variable or inconstant; changeable: a versatile temperament.
4.) Capable of moving freely in all directions

As for the rules, they are...
1.) Thank the person who gave you the award.
2.) Share seven things about yourself.
3.) Nominate 5 newly discovered blogs.
4.) Let your nominees know about their award.
1. Thank the person who gave you the award
Thank you Heavy Man for this award.  I love your blog because you tell the whole story and not just the good stuff.  The pictures of the scale for your weigh ins is an idea I am going to steal.

2. Share seven things about yourself
1. I am a Systems Analyst for the Human Resources department at my company.
2. I can't whistle.  I can fake it a bit, but I can't just put my lips together and blow.
3. I began exercising after Hurricane Ike when there was limited bus service and I had to walk.
4. I will never watch another version of Pride and Prejudice.  Colin Firth IS Mr. Darcy.  End of story.
5. I think Jerry Jones (Dallas Cowboys) should fire Wade Phillips and rehire Jimmy Johnson.
6. I am a science fiction geek.
7. I am afraid of roller coasters.
3. Nominate 5 newly discovered blogs

I had this sucker written two days ago but I cannot for the life of me find new blogs I like that haven't recently been tagged with this award.  And I have found some fantastic new reads in the past few weeks.  So I am going to be a rebel and not tag anyone.  If you want to award yourself AND have commented on my blog in the past 2 weeks then you are thereby dubbed a Versatile Blogger by me.

I love blogging.  No matter where we are in this world we can log on and find support from those that have shared experiences and struggles.  I learn so much from all of the sites I follow and know there are many more I have yet to find.

I'm Just Not That Brave: Not Exposed


I can post progress pictures (clothes on) for all of the world to see but that is the limit of my bravery.

These ladies (and a few men) are taking it off and getting Exposed.

That is on a whole other level.

I am about a year and a total body lift away from being able to do such a thing.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Progress Pictures: Before The Journey & Today

I thought you all might like to see a few pre-weight loss journey pictures vs. today.  I've always found others' progress pictures to be an extraordinary motivator.

All it takes to get results are making small changes and perseverance on step at a time.

If I can do this, then ANYONE can.

WSR: Weight 254.8 - Weight Left To Lose 84.8

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 254.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 115.2 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 84.8 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 31.14%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 57.60%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 39.9
BMI Lost:18.0

I have had a an absolutely fantastic week.  I am down 3.2 pounds, I exercised 5 days (3 of which involved strength training) and I stayed on plan with the diet.  The only thing I didn't do exactly spot on was drink my water.  Guess what this week's goal is?

The thing I am most proud of in this go round of my diet war is that the 22.2 pounds that I have lost in the last 6 weeks is real weight loss earned through hard work and not shortcuts.  I didn't eat less.  I ate more.  I didn't do the minimum amount of exercise.  I pushed myself harder.  I tried new things outside of my comfort zone.  This sense of pride I feel is really rooted in the fact that I am working on making real changes vs. pulling tricks to make the scale show me a lower number.

Faster does not always equal better.  I know that in the past I have robbed myself in so many ways by not fully understanding that my body needs adequate nutrition.  Eating nothing but yogurt, oatmeal and fruit for a week is not the way to go.  I've done that.  I've also gained the weight I *lost* back in no time when my menu expanded beyond the few foods I was allowing it in the short term.  That lesson has definitely been learned.

This week I want to do exactly the same thing as I did last week:  eat right, exercise, and drink enough water.

Onward and downward y'all!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Being Substantive

Twix honored me with this award.

5 words to describe my blog:

painfully honest (2 word description)

And something about my life that I would change if I could:
I would have gone to college after high school.

Ten things you may or may not know about me in no certain order.

1. I cannot stand dawdlers in grocery stores.  Seriously, just go home until you figure out what you want and get out of my way.  You are slowing me down.

2. I am amazingly competitive about learning.  I think it has to do with the years of morbid obesity and thinking that if I weren't going to be thin that I was always going to be the smartest/most informed person in the room.

3. I spend nearly every Saturday at home watching HGTV.  I love all of the design shows except for Antonio's.  His season of Design Star must have really sucked if he was the winner.  Sarah's House is my favorite.  Tommy is HIlarious.

4. I read the Twilight books.  Their tag on my GoodReads account is oh-the-shame.  They are very badly written.  I only picked one up because I was peer pressured into it.  I like real books thank you very much.  The lead character is a dishrag whose only self-esteem comes from having the dreamy vampire love her.  Oh yeah, that is a role model for young girls.  :eyeroll:  But Edward?  He is the reason I read that crap.  The Cullens and their vampy friends have a much better story than Bella.  I was rooting for Victoria.  Bella is the Kim Bauer of Twilight.   Just sayin'.

5. The get-my ass-in-gear track on my iPod playlist is the Tempus Fugit Mix by Bananarama.  All their best hits condensed into one really long, rocking track.  I Heard A Rumor...they say you got a broken heart...

6. I am going to have to see Mission Impossible 4.  I am not a Tom Cruise fan.  For the record I would like it known that I was not a fan pre-Scientology freakfest Tom.  I didn't like him when I was  in high shool after he broke out in Risky Business.  The reason I am going to see it?  Josh Holloway (Sawyer from LOST) is going to be in it.  Now THAT is a  man that needs to be a big damn movie star.  He could give me a nickname any time.

7. My favorite shoes are my gray Chuck Taylor Converse's.  They are super comfy.  I love Friday when I can wear jeans to work because I get to wear my Chuck's all day long.

8. I don't drive.  I don't even have a driver's license.  I usually live very close to work and either walk or take the bus.  I currently live a block away from where I work.  It is incredible not to feel the stress of a daily commute.

9. The Amazing Race is my favorite reality show.  I want to try out once I get below 200 pounds.  That said, the one that I lose tons of time over is Big Brother.  I get the live feeds and join in at Survivor Sucks all season long.  It is usually the same group of people that you see every summer over there.  But this last season blew serious chunks.  It was boring as hell on the feeds and I actually had a life for once.

10. I LOVE coffee.  I don't mean Starbucks pour a ton of fat and sugar in a
cup and call it coffee, coffee.  I mean fresh roasted by people who live for coffee, coffee.  Find a great coffee house with a great roaster and stick to it.  There is no going back to mass produced crap once you have had the good stuff.  Trust me.

The people I have chosen to tag are:

1. Erin
2. Shanilie
3. Hadley
4. Ang

Ok tagees, it's your turn.
Answer the questions above, describe your blog in 5 words, and tag 4 more.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Attitude Is Everything

So here's the deal ...

6 weeks ago I was getting fatter by the day, sad as all get out about someone that made me insanely crazy (seriously, seriously crazy) and feeling as if my world was caving in from pretty much every direction.

Today I am 20 pounds lighter, happier than I've been in a long time and that crazy-inducing person and I are getting along fine now (friendly even) and things are looking way up on all fronts.

Do you want to know what made the difference in those 6 weeks?

I changed my attitude. 

I felt like crap.  I looked like crap.  But I wasn't going to let my general crappy malaise deter me.

So I came home on a Friday night, had one last burrito bowl/chips & guac from Chipotle, threw out all of the food in my kitchen that wasn't diet worthy and dug out my tennis shoes.  Then I started all over the next day.  I woke up on Saturday with no willpower, but determined to get my diet and my life back on track.  It was slow going at first, but I had a plan and I stuck to it for one meal, then two, then three and what do you know it is Sunday (I made it through an entire day successfully).  As I had one successful day after the other my confidence grew that I could get the diet train back on the rails and one day became one week, one week became one month and so on.  Now I am 6 weeks down the road and I feel great!

It is all in how you look at things. 

Change your Attitude.
Change Your World.

I did.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I Wanna Do Yoga!

Surprisingly I think I just became a fan of yoga.

The cool down session of Biggest Loser Cardio Max is all yoga and I feel great!

I am not the most graceful of people.  This isn't about being overweight.  This is just me.  I am a klutz with a capital K.  My shadow is always plotting to make me trip over it.  So I didn't think I would be any good at yoga.  It seems to be all about grace and form.  But I did it and I think I may have even done it well.

So now I am going to put my geek cap on.  Okay, it is always on because I am a massive geek on a great many levels but right now I am going to direct my geekdom at learning about yoga.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Today's Surreality

On my way in to work today, as I passed by the counter of one of the businesses in the lowest level of the building in which I work, I was stopped by the owner.  He complimented me on my weight loss and then he asked me how I was doing it.  He said that he wanted to shed some weight himself and then he told me that he didn't eat dinner last night.  I told him that was the worst thing he could do because the weight always come back that way.  He needed to eat leaner meats, watch his sugar and get some exercise.  I advised him to start walking.  It is free and it is easy and nearly everyone can do it barring some serious condition.  He thanked me and I went on my way.

I get these kinds of inquiries all the time now.  It really is surreal to think that I am that someone that other people think to ask for advice.  They look to ME for motivation.  They think I know what I am doing.  It feels good.  I know that I've done the work to get to this point, but I always have the thought wiggling around in the back of my mind "how did this happen?"

Before I finally found whatever it is that I needed to do this I would read blogs such as PastaQueen and DietGirl and marvel at their success.  It seemed unreal to me that this was possible - breaking free of the prison that is morbid obesity.  The woman inside of me was trapped and screaming to get out.  The shell I existed in was not me.  It was a hideous enclosure that hid the real me from the world.

This isn't to say that I am not grateful for the miraculous changes that have occurred.  I am just having a really hard time making an adjustment to them.  This new reality is still blindingly bright and quite surreal.

Monday, October 4, 2010

WSR: Weight 258.0 - Weight Left To Lose 88.0

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 258.0 lbs
Pounds Lost: 112.0 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 88.0 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 30.27%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 56.00%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 40.4
BMI Lost:17.5

It makes me want to cry a little to be making this post over a year after my last weekly stats report and to have gone back up the scale to cover ground I had already covered.  Then I remember that I have lost 19 pounds since August 27th.  I remember that I am not attempting to starve myself by eating too few calories in order to see a lower number on the scale.  I am no longer counting points as if my life depended on it.  I am now using points only to make the decision about whether or not I am going to buy something and bring it home.  Then I feel pretty freaking proud.

I have had a hard week.  I was eating WAY too little protein/iron during that special time of the month and it made me sick.  I mean it knocked me on my ass.  I didn't go to work for 2 days.  If you knew me, you would know that is highly illogical.  I only take vacation because they make me.  So I have to up the protein for at least a week starting 3 days prior to the arrival.  I have to eat actual meat vs. only veggie products (which I am completely in love with).  This is the reality.  I am no longer allowing the calendar to drive my weight loss goals.  It is insane to put that much pressure on myself when I am already tacking the absolute toughest thing I have ever had to do - taking off 200 pounds worth of soul killing fat.  So I am going to take care of myself and eat what I need to eat.

All of that said, I am down 2 pounds in a week that I saw only 2 workouts.  I will take that and smile.

Onward and downward!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

I'm In KettleHell

I just did Jillian Michael's Shred It with Weights for the first time using my brand new kettlebell.

It was hard.  It was really, really hard.  I only did about half of the DVD.  The rest of the time I was shouting "OMG, Jillian you are killing me"!  I am so glad that she wasn't there to get in my face because I would have needed a bucket.

I am soft and squishy.  I have hips that get in the way of all of the swinging and the twisting but it was a great workout.  I can feel the effects of it in my arms already.  I am going to keep doing it and work up to actually finishing Level 1.  I've done the 30 Day Shred, but this one is so much more awesome.  The kettlebell makes all the difference.  You've got to try it.  You'll hate it, but you will also love it.