Monday, August 17, 2009

WSR: Weight 239.2 - Weight Left To Lose 69.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 239.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 130.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 69.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 35.35%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 65.40%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 37.5
BMI Lost: 20.4

I finally crossed over into the 230 range as of last night. It is an awfully good feeling to know that I am inching closer and closer to onederland. I had the realization that I will hit that some time THIS year instead of next year like I had previously thought. Can I say how much that just thoroughly blows my mind?

I cannot say enough how much I am just sold out to regular exercise - interval training especially. I have seen a dramatic difference each week since I have focused on trying to walk 5 miles per day - at high and moderate speeds. Forget that foolish TIME article nonsense - exercise (with proper diet) will help you lose weight. I did really well last week walking 5 out of 7 days and doing 5 miles on 3 out of those 5 days.


Starting Weight: 248.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 225.0 lbs

Current Weight: 239.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 9.6 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 14.2 lbs

Percent Of Way To Goal: 40.37%

When I set this goal I thought maybe I might be stretching it a bit in terms of what was realistic. What I am finding is that I am doing pretty darned well in meeting it. I am looking to get at or near 225 by August 31st - near being good enough. However, the raging Virgo in me wants to hit it dead on.

Onward and downward!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

A Lazy Day And A Smarter Choice

I don't know what happened to me today. I never got out of bed at all until 6PM (but only because I had to go get something to eat). I don't keep food at home to prevent binging, so I always have to go out to eat. It works for me. I mostly eat at the cafe at Central Market. They have a great prepared foods case with tons of healthy, diet-friendly foods.

Needless to say I did not walk at all. I'm disappointed in myself for that. I had planned on walking a great deal today.

But I did make an excellent choice as far as diet goes.

When I first started this diet plan of mine I had determined that each Saturday and Sunday I would use all of my WW points on one meal each day - making it whatever I wanted. After about a month or two I scaled it back to just Saturdays. Two months ago I stopped doing that altogether. My go-to meal on those days was typically a 1/4 order of chips and guacamole with a side of refried beans at my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant. It was decadent and I felt like I had this oasis in Dietville that I always knew was there waiting for me.

Well, today I had only had a yogurt all day and knew I could eat basically whatever I wanted for dinner and still remain within my allowed WW points range of 32 points (although most days I stick to 20-24 points). I considered going for the chips and guacamole. But I made a smarter choice of going to Central Market and having a 2 point WW meal along with wilted spinach, an apple and an iced coffee with skim milk. So instead of consuming 25+ points on one meal alone I ended the day with eating only 12 points overall. It felt good.

But I am SO going to get back out there tomorrow and burn up some mileage. I miss my daily endorphins rush.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friday Night Quick Thoughts

  1. I had another great week sticking completely to my diet and exercise plans.

  2. The urge to drown myself in food last night was strong after an encounter yesterday afternoon. I fought that urge and I won. ::does the dance of pride::

  3. Knowing that tables are turning is pretty damned cool, especially when dumb asses realize how badly they screwed up and there is nothing they can do about it.

  4. My co-workers are amazing! I get complimented multiple times each day by practically everyone about how skinny and fantastic I look. I could start to get a bit conceited with all the gushing. It is an incredible feeling.

  5. The plan to have a spa day on my birthday has been scrapped. I wanted to celebrate the fact that this is the first birthday EVER in which my yearly vow to lose weight has actually come to pass. However, I decided to spend the money for the spa day on purchasing a really good pair of shoes for walking/running as well as some new workout clothes. It is a better investment in ME.

  6. Tomorrow I aim to put in 7 miles on Nike+. I want to up the mileage on the weekends (after upping the weekday mileage to 5 miles) and it will be my test run for the new goal.
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. As Marvin Zindler (the real life inspiration for Melvin P. Thorpe in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas) used to say - good golf, good tennis or whatever makes you happy!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Back In Step

I did it! I got back out there today and walked over 5 miles. It felt good. It felt really good.

I have even more motivation to burn up the sidewalk because I have gotten so many compliments this week about how much thinner my face is now. The extra walking is working and yielding the results that I wanted.

However, I can't keep my eyes open. I'm going to sleep now. Walking 5+ miles per day has another benefit besides weight loss and fitness - better, longer sleep.

Monday, August 10, 2009

WSR: Weight 243.2 - Weight Left To Lose 73.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 243.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 126.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 73.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 34.27%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 63.40%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 38.1
BMI Lost: 19.8

My frustration with the lack of movement on the scale last week is over.   I had a great week, registering a loss of 5.6 lbs.  I am finally completely back on track with both diet and exercise and it feels good.  I plan on sticking to the basic diet I began with because it is bearing such fantastic results.


Starting Weight: 248.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 225.0 lbs

Current Weight: 243.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 5.6 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 18.2 lbs

Percent Of Way To Goal: 23.53%

My August mini-goal is going really well.  I am not going to be too bummed if I don't hit the 225 lb mark dead on by the end of the month.  I am just going to give the effort my all and see what happens.  It certainly can't hurt to make the attempt to get into the 220s.

Onward and downward!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Better Bloggy Edition

I made a few changes today with ye olde blog.
  1. The Woman Inside Me | Fitness. I added a page devoted exclusively to exercise and fitness. I will be posting one summary for each week that will be updated daily starting tomorrow. I also plan on posting news/information that I find useful. The latest post on that page will appear on the sidebar of this blog. I titled it Fitness. Catchy, right?
  2. The Woman Inside Me | Progress. I also added a page that is all about my goals and progress in achieving them. It will contain more progress pictures as well. I set up a flickr account to be able to create a weight loss timeline. The last 3 pictures posted will also appear on the sidebar of this blog. I'm going to let you figure out what area these appear in. You guys are smart. I am sure you will find them.
  3. Menu bar : A new menu bar now appears at the top of the page to link to the new pages as well as my Twitter account (I am starting to really love 140 characters or less blogging).
I am pleased about how these new additions to the blog have turned out. After getting back on track with the diet and exercise in the past few weeks I wanted to kick it up another notch with increased measures of accountability. I can't very well have a page devoted to exercise if I am not going to exercise, right?

Onward and downward.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Rest Time Is Over

I am going to get up early tomorrow and start moving my butt down the streets to the sounds of my funky beats.

Rest time is over. I have had a few days to recoup my strength and stamina after being sick. However, it is now time to get back out there and burn those calories.

I've missed walking. I've missed the rush of the endorphins. I've missed the amazing feeling of knowing I am becoming more fit each time I get out there and get my heart pumping. The progress picture I posted yesterday has given me an extra burst of motivation. It has confirmed that the extra mileage I added to my routine is really doing my body some good in a hard and fast way.

Walking Training LogI signed up for dailymile and am anxious to see how it interacts with Nike+. If it works well I may use it to log my exercise instead of relying on Nike+ (which has stopped updating).

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Work In Progress: Snapshot 125.0 Lost

I thought I would take another progress picture today since I hit an all time low on the scale and completed a mini goal on the same day.

The picture on the left is from today. The picture on the right was taken 06.26.09. I thought I looked good in June, but today's picture is absolutely incredible. The difference in my face and my stomach is very noticeable.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Back To Work

I have been sick this week and only just went back to work today. It was an exhausting day just doing routine stuff.

I ate more than I normally do (mainly protein with fruit and vegetables) because I hadn't eaten for a day and a half. I actually managed to eat all of the Weight Watchers points I am supposed to eat - 32 (I usually stick to the 20-22 points range).

Needless to say I did not exercise - at least at my normal level - but I did walk over a mile:

1. 0.7 miles to the bus stop this morning
2. 0.2 miles in to work this morning
3. 0.2 miles to the bus stop from work this evening
4. 0.2 miles home from a different bus stop this evening

At least that is something considering how I am feeling such a loss of stamina.

My plan is to finish out the work week while sticking to my diet plan. I won't exercise Thursday or Friday, but I will be getting back out there on Saturday to resume my normal schedule. I just don't want to set myself back because I couldn't take the time to rest to get my normal strength level back.

Monday, August 3, 2009

WSR: Weight 248.8 - Weight Left To Lose 78.8

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 248.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 121.2 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 78.8 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 32.76%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 60.60%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 39.0
BMI Lost: 18.9

Two weeks in to getting back on track and I have ditched the 15 pounds that I've lost and regained a few times. I am less than a pound away from reaching my all time low that I hit before the 15 pound cycle began.

Going back to basics has helped me regain focus. The diet is a bit limited but I am only going to do it for a few more weeks.

My short term goal is to reach 225 by the end of the month (which happens to be my birthday). It is a lot of weight to lose in a month, but with the increased walking I am doing I think it is attainable. I want to be in good shape to win the next Biggest Loser challenge at work that will begin after Labor Day. I have to be able to beat out the skinnier people who can post a higher proportional weight loss for losing the same amount of weight that I do. It is all about the math.


Starting Weight: 248.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 225 lbs

Current Weight: 248.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 0 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 23.8 lbs

Percent Of Way To Goal: 0.00%

Onward and downward!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Non-Scale Victory: The Limited

As the pounds drop off it is really exciting for me when I can begin shopping in a clothing store that was previously off limits because I was just too damned fat. I recently added one back into my possibilities that I have not been able to buy clothes from since high school!

I knew I had dropped a lot of weight in my upper torso and thought I was getting close to being able to wear an XL from a regular store. So I went to The Limited and checked out what they had. The tops I liked the most looked like they would fit. I was still uncertain. So, I tried them on and they fit!

It was such an emotional high and I was brought to tears as I tried one top on and then the other.

This is what I bought:

They are cute, right?

Oh, and these jeans that I was so super, duper excited about buying? They are so loose and baggy now that they are literally about to fall right off of my body. I don't have to unbutton or unzip to take them on and off. There is absolutely no snugness to them at all. I feel like I am living in a miraculous dreamworld with my clothes these days. It is an amazing thing to have to take something out of my closet because it is too big for me to wear.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Jillian Michaels Says

Every time I have read something that Jillian Michaels has said or written, I am always inspired and motivated.

I have recently developed a love for Twitter. I've been reading different people and slowly gotten into tweeting myself. Today I found that Jillian Michaels has a Twitter account and I am in quote heaven.

These are some of my favorites:
  1. Shedding pounds isn't just a walk in the park. If you want to drop serious pounds and KEEP them off, you NEED to exercise. TWIM: I wish this weren't totally 100% true. Exercise is some hard, freaking work!
  2. Clear out your cabinets! Get rid of the junkfood - if you have it around, you'll eat it. Dump the junk and you won't be tempted. TWIM: I got rid of all food at home. I can't overeat if it doesn't exist. It is one of the best decisions I ever made.
  3. Each time you reach for food, ask yourself why? Once you know why you're eating too much, you can stop the sabotage and achieve your goals! TWIM: It is a lifestyle!
  4. When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the, "I still have more to go", crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! TWIM: I do this all the time. I.MUST.STOP.NOW.
  5. Walk! Once you've got your gym routine down, burn a few extra calories by walking whenever you can. You'll burn calories and save gas! TWIM: Walking is the easiest and cheapest form of exercise. Just do it!
  6. Learn your labels! Start comparing, and try to find the highest protein and dietary fiber, and the lowest carbs and fats. TWIM: Putting good things in your body really does help you find the energy to stay on course with a real program.
  7. Listen to your body! Learn to analyze your cravings and satisfy those needs with something healthy. Need a sweet - grab a piece of fruit! TWIM: I have adapted this over the past 9 months or so. Fruit is almost negligible in your daily calorie totals and it is SO good for you.
I think Jillian is going to become my favorite Tweeter. There is always so much truth to all of her tips and advice.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday Night Free For All

I am sitting here at work unable to peel my rear end up out of the seat in order to make myself go home.

I've got some not so random thoughts running through my head. I am feeling quite anxious and restless. Consider this a dump into which I am pouring them out so that I might find some relief.
  1. The diet is good. I had another great week (2 in a row) of staying on program. It was a perfect week for the diet. Go me! I've returned to the basics from when I first started out - WW Smart Ones meals, Progresso soups, fruit, coffee and water. I added a side order of eggs and pico de gallo from Taco Cabana though. I need the extra protein since I am walking 5 miles per day now. I plan to do this for at least 2-3 more weeks. It is simple. It works and it gets me back on the fast track to losing the last 80 pounds.

  2. Do you know how much protein you should be eating per day? I didn't.
    (weight/2.2) * 0.8 = g protein per day

  3. The scale isn't budging one little bit but I know why. It is the bane of all womankind. It rears its ugly head next week. Oh well, I know the scale is going to have to eventually give up the numbers I really want to see. I just have to be patient. Yeah right! Patience is for the weak. Veruca really was the patient one, she was willing to wait. I want it last week!!!

  4. I found out that our vacation benefits are changing. We are getting more time, but we can roll less of it over each year. I was already freaking out about how to take 80 hours before the end of the year. If I have to take an additional 40 hours I don't know how that is going to happen with all that I have on my plate. I know, such problems, huh? It is though because I do want to take the time. I just don't know if I have the time to do it.

  5. I guess the greatest source of my anxiety is ThatMan (his name from now on). He keeps attempting to draw me back into a congenial sort of relationship. I don't want that. I hate that it seems so easy and natural. I slide right back into it without even realizing it. He doesn't deserve it. This is the one time that I need to hold onto the hurt/anger because it keeps the damned walls up. The walls are good. They will keep me safe and protected so I won't wind up spitting out my kicked in teeth again. It is just hard to do because I don't live that way. I believe in forgiveness. There is no avoiding him either. Oh how I wish I could do that. It would make things so much easier. I've done well in not allowing him to engage me in personal chatter. I either remain silent or change the subject. It just takes so much work! Today was hard because a call went on and on even when nothing was really being said simply because the connection was there. At least that is my perspective. I don't know what he is doing. He pushed me away but still wants me to be there too. I hate this. I really do. Who would have thunk that life would have been simpler when I weighed 370 pounds? I never had such angst then.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

5 Mile Commitment

If you take a gander at the sidebar over there to the right you will notice I have added some activity content - my Nike+ Mini and my Twitter activity feed. It is a measure of accountability for me. If I slack off on the exercise, it is going to show.

I decided that it is time that I get serious about exercise. Along with getting myself back on track diet-wise, and not letting the same 15 pounds find its way back onto my body yet again, I have committed to walking at least 5 miles per day - 6 days per week. This was a hard decision because it takes real commitment. I am no longer allowed to slack off. I've lost over 100 pounds. However, the remaining part of the second 100 pounds I have to lose isn't going to fall of quite as easily. I am going to have devote myself to exercise and make it a top priority in my life if I want to reach my goal.

The plan involves:
  1. getting up early and walking 2+ miles
  2. following that up each evening with whatever remains of the 5 mile goal
I have been successfully following this plan since Saturday and found that splitting the 5 miles up into multiple walks/runs is so much easier than walking 5 miles at one time. On the weekends I am going to mix it up - walking wherever and whenever I can throughout the day.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Long Story Short & A Longer Story

Where have I been for the past 4 months?

Long story short? I have lost, re-gained, lost (repeat cycle a few times) the same 15 pounds over and over again. It has been frustrating to say the least. On the upside I am now on the losing end of that 15 pounds once again and am no worse off than I was at the end of June and that is a major miracle in and of itself.

Now for the longer story.

June was hard.

I've known a man for years. We've always gotten along and had developed, or at least what I thought had developed into, a pretty great friendship. When we attended events, we always hung out almost exclusively with each other. He always approached me. I left that up to him because I wanted it to be his choice and not my inserting myself where I was not wanted. He's known me at my heaviest weight ever - back in the days when all I wore were stretchy pants and t-shirts because I couldn't fit into anything else and never wore makeup or paid much attention to my hair. In other words, he has seen me at my worst and still chose to spend time with me. This guy was a solid guy. He was one of the good people, or so I thought.

In June he decided to stop speaking to me. One day we were the same as we've always been and the next day I was persona non grata with him. There was no argument. There was no disagreement. He shut me out completely and did it without a word of explanation. It stung. It hurt me more than I can say because I thought we were real friends. I don't let people in very easily and I had let him in. I trusted him. We had gotten pretty close in recent months and a change in circumstance pretty much demanded that he either a) admit that we were more than just __________ or b) push me away in such a way that negated that acknowledgment from ever having to happen. I don't think he knew how to handle openly acknowledging that to me, to himself or to other people. It seems strange to write that because so many other people already knew there was more to us than just an arranged acquaintance. I think he got scared and pushed me away in the harshest way possible because if I hated him then he would never have to face any of it.

We still have to speak to and see each other. I am not going to go into what capacity that entails. You can probably guess. I just don't want to say it. He attempts to interact with me as if if everything is completely normal and seems to expect me to just let it go and make him feel like it is all okay. He gets angry at me because I can't and won't do that. I can't simply pretend for his sake. He has burned all of his bridges with me and has no right to expect me to consider what he wants in all of this. I gave him more than he deserved. When he began pushing me away I told him how I felt. I was completely honest with him. Yet he was nothing but cold to me. After years of knowing each other he just threw it all away.

I've written all of this to say that even though June was hard and left me feeling like I had gotten my teeth kicked in, I am in pretty good shape in spite of it all. I didn't curl up into a ball. I didn't stop fighting the fight. I indulged in eating more than I should have for a month or so, but I didn't dive off into a massive uncontrollable binge. I'm alright. In the past that would have crippled me. I would have let the hurt and the anger drive me to a non-stop orgy of overeating and permanent residence on the couch. But now? I'm good. I've grown. The change in lifestyle that I've been pursuing for over a year now has become real for me. It isn't simply an intangible ideal anymore. It is a part of me now.

Has It Been That Long?

I have not blogged since the beginning of April.

I knew it was a long time but not THAT long.

Life is good. I am still on the diet and working out. The most exciting news is that I am about to move down into a size I haven't been in since I was a teenager. It is a HUGE move too because it is an entirely different size range. I am about to go from a 20 to an 18. More to come on that later. I am going to swing by and catch up on reading what you all have been up to after I get home and do my evening walk/run tonight. See you then.

ETA: I thought I would show off my latest progress picture (taken June 26th). I feel quite normal looking in this picture, almost to the point of leaving the fatty behind me forever!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Biggest Loser Work Edition (Final Weigh In)

I've been participating in a Biggest Loser challenge at work. Today was the final weigh in.

I have lost a total of 33 pounds since January 6th. My realistic goal was to lose 25 pounds. My fantasy goal was to lose 30 pounds. I met my fantasy goal and exceeded it. I am thrilled!

We are having a ceremony at 3PM to crown the winners. My pal Nicolette (she is in the right hand side of the first picture in my progress post below) is going to take it. She is trying to be all humble and doubting that she will be able to take it over the top but I am confident. She lost a whopping 40 pounds! I am SO proud of her. She looks incredible. My hope is that I am where she is by the end of the year. It is completely doable too and I am going to do it!

I've had so much fun with this that I am going to do the maintenance program that starts up next week. I love the extra motivation of knowing someone else will see the number on the scale week to week. I don't want them to see it go up.

Onward and downward y'all.

Monday, March 30, 2009

WSR: Weight 256.2 - Weight Left To Lose 86.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 256.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 113.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 86.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 30.76%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 56.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 40.1
BMI Lost: 17.8

I literally cannot remember the last time I was in the 250 range. It was a really, really, really long time ago.

The weight is falling off fast now because I have seriously restricted the amount of carbs that I eat. My diet isn't quite on the Atkins or South Beach level, but I am using a lot of principles that they espouse. I do have some carbs but they they tend to be on the lighter side. I also cut out night time eating of any kind. As a result my stomach has shrunk dramatically in the past 2 weeks.

Onward and downward y'all!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Picture This: Halfway To My Goal

I am a little over halfway to my goal and I thought it was time to post some progress pictures. I am still in shock that I've made it this far!

These are the BEFORE shots (taken at our annual team meeting in October 2007) when I weighed 370 pounds and had to purchase a size 32 jeans for an activity we had done earlier that day:

These are the AFTER shots (taken this past week) where I now wear a size 22/24 jeans. Can you tell which picture shows me wearing the size 32?

My arms alone are nearly half their former size!

I have had people telling me for months how great I look but I wasn't able to see it day to day. It wasn't until I saw these pictures this week that I finally saw what everyone else saw. The progress I have made is truly stunning and I am really motivated to continue on to my goal weight.

Onward and downward.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Food Log: 03.04.09

I intentionally ate very little points today because tomorrow we are having an early weigh in for the Biggest Loser contest we are doing at work.  Friday is our normal weigh in day, but our company is having its annual awards ceremony that day.  I am a nominee for an award.

There are days in which I like to feel the hunger.  I like knowing that I have complete control over it.  It is quite empowering to know that I have evolved from this bottomless gluttonous being to someone who likes to occasionally feel the hunger burn inside.  I don't do it often because I don't want to throw my metabolism out of whack.  However, I have found benefit in it because it is a wild fluctuation in my daily routine.  I think that is the reason I haven't faced any real stalls or plateaus.  I never let my body get too used to a set daily calorie amount.  I am always mixing it up.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market* 1
b: light yogurt (1) *h.e.b. brand* 2
b: bran buds (1/3 cup) *all bran* 1
l: angel hair marinara (1) *smart ones* 4
l: flame grilled veggie burger (1) *boca* 2
s: coffee w/ sugar free creamer (1 - 16 oz) 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Non-Scale Victory: 1X

I've had a top hanging in the back of my closet for about a year now. My boss, after cleaning out her closet, had given it to my co-worker. But it was too big for her and not really her style at all. So she, in turn, passed it over to me for "later" after I had lost more weight. The top is a size 1X.

Since I knew I wouldn't fit into it for a long time it was resigned to the very back of the closet to make space for larger items of clothing.

Well this morning I had an itch to try it on. It fits! I was like OMG Squee! *happy dance* :twirl: all at the same time.

I wore it to work. I look good. I feel sexy in my slinky new 1X top. I haven't worn a top this small in at least 20 years.

I'm thinking I might check out other 1X (16-20) size tops on my next shopping trip.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Food Log: 03.03.09

I did not intend to have any cookies today but when I got to the cafe this evening they had my absolute favorite - dark chocolate/macadamia - just staring out at me from the display case at the coffee bar.  They are like moist, gooey brownies and are absolutely decadent.  I indulged.  I'm not sorry.  They were good.  Now I am completely satisfied and won't need anything sweet for a few days.

Still, even with my indulgence, I stuck to my points.  I am allowed 33 WW points per day but always try to keep it between 23-28 instead.  Over the past year or so I have conditioned myself to want to eat less and it is working for me.  I don't feel deprived.  If I do, I eat.  I simply have more control these days than I used to have.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market* 1
b: light yogurt (1) *h.e.b. brand* 2
b: apple (1 large) *central market* 2
b: bran buds (1/3 cup) *all bran* 1
l: flame grilled veggie burger (1) *boca* 2
l: spinach & feta couscous (5 oz) *central market* 3
l: snap peas & carrots (5 oz) *central market* 3
s: green bean crisps (1 oz) 2
s: coffee w/ sugar free creamer (2 - 12 oz) 2
s: dark chocolate/macadamia cookies (2) *central market*8
s: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Food Log: 03.02.09

As I was leaving work and mentally tallying my points for the day I realized that I was on the really low side. So I grabbed a couple of cookies tonight with my evening cup of decaf coffee. They were really yummy and did not make me go over the points range I try to aim for each day.

Then as I was sitting in the cafe reading my book and enjoying my delicous coffee and cookies I had to fight the urge to burst out laughing when I overheard this deep philosphical conversation breaking out, among what looked like fraternity brother type guys, about the quality of Will Ferrell movies.  Will Ferrell never made a bad movie.  Step Brothers is the best.  Anchorman is my favorite.  It was hilarious!  It was as if the McLaughlin group were having this really serious discussion about something of great importance but the topic itself was how great Will Ferrell movies are.  I admit that I did snicker a bit and tried not to be too conspicuous as I glanced over to see what these great minds looked like.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market*1
b: light yogurt (1) *h.e.b.*2
b: bran buds (1/3 cup) *all bran*1
b: apple (1 large) *central market* 2
l: spanish rice (4 oz) *taco cabana*4
l: borracho beans (4 oz) *taco cabana*4
s: coffee w/ sugar free creamer (1 - 20 oz) 2
s: chocolate chip cookies (2) *central market*6
s: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market*1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

WSR: Weight 266.6 - Weight Left To Lose 96.6

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 266.6 lbs
Pounds Lost: 103.4 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 96.6 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 27.94%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 51.70%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 41.8
BMI Lost: 16.1

I haven't done one of these in a while. My last posted WSR was on 01.19.09 and I weighed in at 278.2.

So, as you can see, I wasn't absent because I fell of the wagon. I was still very much sitting firmly in the wagon seat. I was just busy and tired and not in the mood to blog at all. I'm back now though.

I just want to take a second and be a bit braggy. I no longer have to lose 100+ pounds. I am in the double digit range. *insert I Feel Good by James Brown*

My goal for this week is to get back into a real exercise routine. February threw me completely out of whack with only sporadic bursts of exercising going on. But with Daylight Savings Time starting on Sunday I am feeling all renewy and such. I am going to kick so much exercise butt this summer. My goal is to be in a size 18 by the end of the year. I would feel incredible if I make that goal.

Foodwise I don't think I have to make any adjustments. I know what I'm doing there and I am going to keep on doing it.

Onward and downward y'all!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I Was Lost, But Now I'm Found

The prodigal blogger returns.

Seriously, February was a completely insane month in which work consumed my life and drained all of my energy.  I just couldn't focus enough at the end of each day to blog or to check out what all of my blog buddies were doing.  I'm sorry.

But that doesn't mean that I wasn't working my butt off to lose weight and stick to my plan.  If you take a gander up there on my weight loss ticker you will see that I have lost over a 100 pounds now.

I am in a really good place in this diet thing.  I feel secure in feeling that I know what the hell I am doing.  100 pounds isn't a fluke.  100 pounds is the equivalent to a teenager or a petite adult.  I'm going to pause to let that sink in.  I don't think I've realized that before.  How much weight is a 100 pounds really?  It is a big number on the scale to be sure.  But what is it in tangible terms?

I've had some really amazing things happen to me in the past month.  

I've had men hitting on me - not the right one mind you, he still resists in actually asking me out - but I'm not invisible anymore.  That is a good feeling.  It is weird to be noticed like this when I thought it wouldn't happen until I was done losing weight.  My self image was so tied up in that number on a scale that I didn't realize that life happens whether we are ready for it or not.  I am so much more confident now.

My newfound confidence is paying off with people in general.  I've had more people intentionally stopping to speak to me each day at work than I have had in the past 6.5 years that I've worked there.  I love it!

My new jeans that I bought in December now come on and off without being unbuttoned or unzipped.  They slide right on and off of me.  How freaking awesome is that?  That is one fantastic non-scale victory.  It only took 2 months to make that happen.  I'm ecstatic.  I'm still wearing them though because they are great jeans and I look so good in them.

There is not a day that goes by in which someone doesn't stop me and ask me about my weight loss - stranger, friend, et al.  Everyone is super impressed by my progress.  One co-worker in particular keeps saying how I am a brand new person.  That doesn't suck.  That doesn't suck at all.

I had to buy a brand new wardrobe.  It was expensive, but well worth it.  I bought 11 pairs of pants, 1 skirt, 9 tops and 5 pairs of shoes.  Most of my clothes were just too big for me to continue to wear.  I was walking around with tons of fabric draping off of me and it was not even remotely attractive.  I'm a girl again.  When I was just a mountainous blob of fat, I couldn't be a girl.  I was restricted in what I could fit into and none of it was pretty.  One great thing I've discovered in the past few weeks is that Talbot's, a store I could only look through the window of before, is now open to me.  I can fit into their largest sizes now.   I am so hitting their outlet in another month or so.  See?  Girlish behavior is happening here!  I am planning a shopping trip.  Who is this woman inside me?

As you can see, things are good.  I'm still working my plan and it is paying off in a lot of ways.

I've already hit so many of your blogs already to catch up with you.  I've missed you all so much!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Still On The Wagon

Hey, remember me? I'm the woman that used to post every day with all the food journals and the tales of learning how to exercise.

Well this woman has been busy at work and exhausted at night and has neglected her little home on the interwebs so much that it was starting to gather dust.

I wanted to let you know that a) I am still dieting and losing weight and have so many stories to tell when I finally get back into a routine that allows me to blog daily like I used to do and b) I am coming back. I promise.

I miss you guys. I want to know how you are doing too and the support thing is so important in this big old fat loss journey.

Have you resisted the vines? You can't possibly still be shoveling snow? You are walking beyond taking out the trash now, right?

See y'all real soon.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Food Log: 01.21.09

I feel like death warmed over. The cold from hell still lingers and has zapped every ounce of extra energy I ever possessed out of me. I want to be well!!!

I ate less than I wanted to today, but I'm too tired to worry about it.

There won't be any walking tonight. It is far too cold and, as mentioned above, I want to get well. Colds and freezing temperatures don't mix well.

The good news is that I will get a new computer tomorrow and can finally join in on all of the Biggest Loser fun. I am so sorry I've missed out on supporting everyone on the A-Team these past 2 weeks. Don't forget to weigh in!

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market*1
b: veggie corn dogs (2) *morningstar farms*6
l: sauteed snap peas & carrots (6 oz) *central market* 3
l: lemon flavored rice (5 oz) *central market*4
l: vegetable egg roll (1) *central market*5
s: garlic & herb crackers (9 crackers) *all bran*1
s: coffee w/ skim milk (1 - 16 oz) *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Food Log: 01.20.09

Since I had my doctor's appointment this morning I wasn't able to do my usual routine of stopping off at Central Market on the way to work. I had to improvise and buy food from the food court. I forgot how freaking expensive that is. My meals from Central Market run about half of what a typical food court day runs me. It also ran me more points wise than I like to eat in a day, but I will be back on the routine tomorrow. I did still only eat my allotted daily WW points.

I will walk tonight. I've already done about a mile and a half this morning walking to the doctor's appointment and then walking to work from there. So I won't have to do much tonight.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ sugar free creamer [1] 2
b: bean & cheese tacos [2] *taco cabana*12
l: veggie burger w/ bun [1] *eats* 16
s: garlic & herb crackers [9 crackers] *all bran*
s: coffee w/ sugar free creamer [1] 2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Non-Scale Victory: New Year, New Numbers

I hate love going to the doctor.

I've spent half of my life avoiding the doctor's office because I always get this pained, disgusted look in which they tell me that I really should lose some weight and then shove pamphlet after pamphlet into my hands about proper nutrition and send me on my way. It was always uncomfortable and they never understood that I just couldn't do it.

But today?

It was bloody awesome! I walked into that doctor's office and was eager to hop on the scale because I knew the number was drastically lower than the last time I weighed in. The nurse's eyes popped out of her head when she saw how much weight I've lost in the past year. She asked me what I was doing, how I had lost the weight. I told her that I do Weight Watchers, eat a vegetarian diet and walk a lot. She was so impressed. I was getting a big, fat head just sitting there on the thin strip of paper that runs the length of the exam room table.

Then the doctor comes in, reviews my chart and her eyes widen.

She says, "you've lost a lot of weight."

I say, "yeah, I've worked hard."

She asks, "what are you doing"?

I reply, "I started doing Weight Watchers again, I cut out meat and eggs and I walk at least 3.5 miles per day with a little jogging I've thrown in recently."

This is the part that kills me. She gets this big grin on her face and tells me that "you are the poster child for doing things right. We've been telling everyone out there about you."

My head puffs up even more and I am concerned I won't get back through the exam room door. I smartly add that "there is no magic pill, why hasn't anyone ever told me that before?"

She laughs, tells me to scoot down and gives me that exam that no woman wants to have because there is just no dignified way to have it done.

I can't wait until next year's physical! Maybe I should alert them to have the jaws of life on hand to cut me out of the exam room when my head becomes too big for the room itself?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Food Log: 01.19.09

The home computer is still busted. I'm getting a new one on Thursday, but until then I have to post the food logs early (before I leave work). I ate well today and stayed in range of the points I wanted to eat. Skipping dinner is working well for me so I am going to keep doing that. My nightly coffee and a book are a great way to end the day. It really puts me in a great frame of mind.

My intention is to walk tonight. It probably won't be my normal 3.5 miles but I do plan on getting out there and back into a routine. I'm still not 100% well, but I feel well enough to do something. Maintaining the habit and the routine is 80% of the battle so when I am well, I can kick it up a few notches and not feel like I am starting over.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: bagel [1 large] *sweet retreat* 7
b: cream cheese [4 tbsp] *sweet retreat* 4
l: refried beans [6 oz] *taco cabana* 6
l: couscous w/ spinach and feta [5 oz] *central market* 4
l: steamed vegetables [6 oz] *central market* 2
s: garlic & herb crackers [9 crackers] *all bran*
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

WSR: Weight 278.2 - Weight Left To Lose 108.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 278.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 91.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 108.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 24.81%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 45.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 43.6
BMI Lost: 14.3

In a week that I didn't exercise at all, because I've been sick, I still managed to lose 6 pounds. I've said it before and I will say it again - I don't understand my body at all.

I did eat on plan and in the points range I was aiming for each day but I didn't move at all. I just went about my days as normal. I plan to get back on the walking track tonight though.

Onward and downward!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Rest Stop

I feel better today, the cold is dissipating, but I am literally worn all the way out.

My diet is good. I am eating within the points range I want. The scale is still drifting downward and I am at an all-time low. I've lost 88 pounds! I just haven't had the energy to exercise. So, I am going to take the next few days to finish getting well and resume walking and blogging on Monday.

Have a great weekend y'all. I know mine should certainly be better than the last.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Food Log: 01.14.09

I am feeling really crappy today. Everyone in the office told me to go home, but I persevered and am making it through the entire day. Tomorrow, if I feel no better, I am staying home.

I ate a little out of the points range I like to stay in, but I am trying to get well and my choices were all good. I am still under the allowed WW points (34 points) I am supposed to eat. So I feel good about today.

I also scheduled a well woman exam and a dental appointment that I've been procrastinating on forever. I'll get a referral for a mammogram during the physical and that is really what I am going for. But I am also interested to see the change in my cholesterol level and other labs since last year. I bet there is a huge drop due to my vegetarian diet. It will be fun to see those numbers.

There will be no walking tonight. I am going home to bed and there I will stay until the morning.

Have a good night y'all. If you are on Team Angie, don't forget to weigh in this week. Lets show that other team how it is done. ;)

foodww points
b: skinny vanilla latte [grande] *starbucks* 3
b: bagel [1 large] *alonti* 7
b: cream cheese [4 tbsp] *alonti* 4
l: couscous w/ spinach & feta [6 oz] *central market* 4
l: sauteed snap peas & carrots [7 oz] *central market* 4
s: skinny vanilla latte [tall] *starbucks* 2
s: banana [1 large] 2
d: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
d: orange [1 large] 2

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Non-Scale Victory: Yes I Am

This morning I was dragging slowly due to my first cold in three years and took the latest bus in to work I possibly could and still make it in on time. I haven't taken this bus in a long time and it had the same driver as the last time I took it.

Well, as I was getting off the bus to walk into my building she said, "can I ask you something?"

I turned around and said, "sure."

"Are you on a diet?", she asked.

I had such a rush of inner pride and told her that "yes, I am. I am doing Weight Watchers, eating vegetarian foods and I walk."

She then said, "Well, you look good!"

I love these types of encounters from people who saw me before my weight loss began but don't know that I am on a diet. It is my favorite kind of recognition because they have nothing to prompt them to ask me if I have lost weight other than seeing the difference in my size and shape.

It was a great start to my day in which I feel like utter crap.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Food Log: 01.13.09

It was a good day. It was a day that fits within my routine and hits the points range I was aiming for. I feel solid with where I am now and there will be many more days like this to come.

My home computer finally died (it won't turn on anymore at all). So posting may be spotty and I still haven't been able to visit most of my Team Angie teammates. I really want to support y'all in this endeavor. I'm thinking about you, if I am not able to visit and offer up support.

I am really tired after moving this past weekend and eating so lightly. It will probably take a few days to get back to feeling like myself, plus I've acquired my first cold in 3 years from being out in the cold so much during the move. All I want to do is go home, watch some tv and go bed. Luckily I have the first 4 hours of the new season of 24 (my favorite show on tv). Jack and Tony are back and that makes me a very happy gal. I knew Almeida wasn't dead. Nobody goes out in such a lame fashion when they are a main character and he didn't get the silent clock. Almeida definitely deserved a silent clock.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: bagel [1 large] *alonti* 7
b: cream cheese [4 tbsp] *alonti* 4
l: borracho beans [6 oz] *taco cabana* 3
l: penne w/ asparagus [5 oz] *central market* 4
l: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market* 2
s: skinny vanilla latte [tall] *starbucks* 2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

WSR: Weight 284.2 - Weight Left To Lose 114.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 284.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 85.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 114.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 23.19%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 42.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 44.5
BMI Lost: 13.4

I reversed the damage from the previous two weeks and came out of last week 7.2 pounds lighter. This was due in part to the unplanned two-day marathon move I did this weekend, but I am not turning it down.

My routine is back in a big way and I am so pleased.

I updated my sidebar with my Biggest Loser Blog Edition weigh in. It is a different starting weight because I registered in BLBE on Saturday and had a major binge on Sunday that gave me the weight that I posted on the last WSR.

Onward and downward!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Biggest Loser Blog Edition

The Biggest Loser Blog Edition starts today.

I am really excited to be a part of this challenge because I know that we are all committed to losing weight and becoming better versions of ourselves.  The extra bit of motivation that I will get from such a focused group is going to be awesome.  I hope I am able to provide a little bit of that myself for y'all.

My weigh in days are Monday.  So, I will be reporting my loss for the week tomorrow and finally get around to visiting all of the folks on Team Angie.

I wish you all luck in kicking the fat out of your lives.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Food Log: 01.10.09

Splurge Saturday wasn't quite such a splurge.  I changed up my splurge meal to eliminate the bean and cheese tacos.  I ordered a side order of refried beans instead.  I don't feel like I need to have that much at one sitting any more, splurge meal or not.

I didn't walk today but I got so much exercise it doesn't matter.  I am changing apartments moving from a downstairs unit to an upstairs one.  I trudged up and down the stairs a whole lot and I will do it again on Sunday.  I am so sore.  I was too tired to eat anything at the end of the day so I grabbed a bag of Triscuits from a convenience store.  It was the healthiest thing I could find and  it pumped up my fiber count for the day.

foodww points
l: tortilla chips [1 basket] *chachos* 11
l: guacamole [6 oz] *chachos* 6
l: refried bean [5 oz] *chachos* 6
s: triscuits [1 package]5

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Food Log: 01.09.09

I fixed my computer problems so posting should become more normal (i.e. posting food logs on the same day).

I ate normally and well within my alloted daily WW points.  It was a good day.  My routine is back in full force and I am really feeling empowered for the two Biggest Loser challenges I am involved in.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: veggie corn dogs [2] *morningstar farms* 6
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca* 2
l: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [4 oz] *central market* 3
l: cucumber & tomato salad [5 oz] *central market* 3
s: roasted red pepper hummus [1.12 oz] *central market* 2
s: garlic & herb crackers [18 crackers] *all bran* 2
d: vegetable lasagna [1 square] *central market* 9
d: wilted spinach [5 oz] *central market* 2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Food Log: 01.08.09

I ate in the points range I was aiming for and had good food. It was a good day.

I wasn't able to walk last night because I got stuck on the other side of town and didn't make it home until nearly 10 PM. I'm not walking at 10PM because that is definitely not the safe or wise choice.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: veggie corn dogs [2] *morningstar farms* 6
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca* 2
l: israeli couscous [4 oz] *central market* 4
l: cucumber & tomato salad [4 oz] *central market* 3
s: spinach & artichoke dip [2.24 oz] *central market* 4
s: garlic & herb crackers [18 crackers] *all bran* 2
s: skinny vanilla latte [tall] *starbucks* 2

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Non-Scale Victory: Eventually Is Today

I am sure that everyone has that special space in their closet reserved for the clothes that have become too small but that they will eventually fit into again. Some people will see the day that they can don those clothes again. However, for others, that dream is a false hope because they are never able to regain their former size and/or shape. These articles of clothing sit sadly in the back of the closet or in a box shoved in the corner as a sad reminder of a figure long gone.

I've always considered myself to be one of the other people - destined to hold onto false hope. But today is the day that I shed that persona and became one that eventually saw them fit again. Today is the day that my "skinny jeans" were transformed into jeans I can wear once more.

I was in the middle of my morning routine today and I had an urge to try them on. I saw them lying there on the loveseat in my bedroom beckoning to me and I just knew they would fit. I've been able to get them on, zipped and everything before now, but they were too tight to look good. But now? They not only slip on, but they fit and they look good!

I am now officially back at the point in which I had formerly abandoned all hope of ever losing weight. The past sins are erased and I can begin again. It is funny that when I was a size 24 before I was sad and dejected and feeling such an absence of satisfaction with my present state. However, after having seen the other side of a size 32 I am grateful to be back there in those size 24 jeans. This time I know I have the power to continue to lose and drift into a size 22, 20, 18... and wind up at whatever size makes me feel like the woman I want to be. Will it be a size 12 or a size 14? Who knows? I am just going to enjoy the journey.

I now know that eventually can become today.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Food Log: 01.07.09

It seems I am undoing the damage that my Christmas splurge and wagon jumping did pretty quickly. I am within 2 pounds of losing what I had gained back. Awesome!

I rocked the food consumption pretty freaking hard today. Points are low and the quality of food is high. I want to stay on this track. It feels good. It feels right.

My goal is to employ a no excuses, non-negotiable policy towards exercise. I will do it no matter what. I have seen what lying around on my butt for 2 weeks will do and I don't like it. So from now on, there will be no more excuses. The holidays are over and it is go time. I intend to walk tonight and throw in some more jogging.

I hope I can fix my computer tonight so I can add my playlist and update with how much walking/jogging I have done.

ETA: I walked/jogged last night. I did another total 3.5 miles (.5 jogging). Why didn't anyone tell me how incredible jogging makes you feel? I'm only doing half a mile now. I can't wait until I am a real jogger, able to do at least a mile at a stretch. That might blow my mind.

And I want to extend a very special welcome to all newbie visitors from the Biggest Loser Blog Edition challenge. I've got computer problems, but as soon as they are fixed I will make the rounds and check all of y'all out. This is exciting. I am amped for this challenge and I can't wait to root you all on. Go Team Angie! We are SO gonna win. I can feel it.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon* 1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran* 2
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca* 2
l: sauteed snap peas & carrots [6 oz] 4
l: lemon flavored rice [5 oz] *central market* 4
s: 100 calorie kettle corn [1 bag] *jolly time* 2
d: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca* 2
d: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory* 1
d: broccoli slaw [3 oz] 1
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Food Log: 01.06.09

It feels like life is returning to normal now. I have my routine back and staying on track isn't as hard as it was during the holidays. I've planned well and I think my daily points totals are really reflecting that level of control.

I intend to walk tonight. I am posting the food log early because I am having computer problems at home.

ETA: I did walk last night. I did 3.5 miles total and jogged for at least half a mile of that. I really pushed myself and I am feeling it today. I am soooore! But I love it. I understand why people are out there on holidays and in inclement weather. It gives you such a high.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon* 1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran* 2
l: vegetarian chili [1 bowl] *boca* 3
l: spicy squash casserole [5 oz] *central market* 6
s: garlic & herb crackers [9 crackers] *all bran* 1
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow* 1
s: garlic & herb crackers [18 crackers] *all bran* 2
d: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory* 1
d: spicy chik'n patty [1] *boca* 3
d: broccoli slaw [3 oz] 1
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Biggest Loser: Work Edition

I signed up to do a Biggest Loser challenge at work. Today was the initial weigh in.

The good news is that there is only a .3 difference between the scale we will use and the one I have at home. So, I will have a pretty good idea of what each weigh in will show before I actually step on the scale. I feel like I will have inside information.

It took a lot of courage for me to trust the person recording our weights. I am probably the fattest contestant in the challenge. Knowing that and still stepping on the scale for another human being to see that number was tough. But I did it, because I want the extra motivation to keep losing. I also maybe want to win one of the cash prizes. The top 3 losers take a percentage of the total pot - 1st gets 50%, 2nd gets 30%, 3rd gets 20%. The pot is starting out at something like $850. I think I have a real shot at it because I've been doing this so long and most people are just starting out.

The next weigh in is on January 16th. If I gain weight, then I owe the pot $1 per pound. If I don't weigh, then I owe the pot $1. I won't be adding to the pot at all. I can guarantee that.

I'm exicted.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Food Log: 01.05.09

Today was a return to normal. I ate a little lower in points that I wanted to but I am full and not feeling deprived; so I am going with it. I feel a little more in control after yesterday's binge and reporting that I've gained weight back that I'd already lost.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon* 1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran* 2
l: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [7 oz] *central market* 5
l: green beans w/ sun dried tomatoes [7 oz] *central market* 4
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca* 2
d: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory* 1
d: spicy chik'n patty [1] *boca* 3
d: broccoli slaw [3 oz] 1
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

WSR: Weight 291.4 - Weight Left To Lose 121.4

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 291.4 lbs
Pounds Lost: 78.6 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 121.4 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 21.24%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 39.30%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 45.6
BMI Lost: 12.3

I skipped last week's Weekly Stats Report because I had just come off of 2 days of indulgence at Christmas and it was that time of the month. There was no way I was going near a scale.

And I didn't walk much at all in the past 2 weeks. It was like I was returning to my former sedentary ways. That stops NOW! I WILL walk each day.

So this WSR isn't as much fun as all of the others have been because I freaking gained weight back. :smacks self upside head: I am back at 291.4 after getting down to 284.2. :smacks self upside head again for good measure:

But I swore that this blog would be an open and honest account of my weight loss efforts. I can't be open and honest if I only report the good stuff. There will be hard times and I have to own up to them. So, there it is - I gained weight back.

Okay, now down to business. I have 2 Biggest Loser challenges coming up. I have one at work that starts tomorrow (cash pot for the top 3 losers) and I am also doing the Biggest Loser Blog Edition that starts on Sunday. So, I have plenty of motivation to get my ass in gear. No excuses!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I Am Not A Diet Failure

I'm an emotional eater.

I can remember using food, specifically Butterfinger candy bars, as an emotional crutch as early as age 8. I would buy them at the YMCA after swim class on Saturday, stash them in my closet and then devour them in secret when the need arose. The need arose a lot.

Today has been really emotional for me. I have come to the realization that a relationship that I thought existed didn't because the other person is too ashamed to admit that there is something going on despite nearly a year of getting closer and closer. My weight loss to date be damned. The shallow opinions of mere acquaintances (not even real friends) means more to him than I do. It has been tough to deal with that realization. It is the denial of our friendship that hurts the most because that is what I had the most faith in. The worst part of it all is that he seems to believe that I should be okay with this arrangement, ready to pick up where we left off when it is convenient and safe for him to do so as if I am so deaf, dumb and blind that I wouldn't notice.

So I fell off the wagon big time! Well I didn't exactly fall off the wagon. It was more like asking the driver to pull over to the side of the road, come to a complete stop and allow me the chance to get off and make a well planned visit with old friends while waiting for me to come back and resume the trip.

I ate a HUGE breakfast. I don't mean slightly larger than normal, but a full on gorge fest. I ate meat (two kinds - bacon and chorizo). I ate eggs. I ate a whole lot of cheese. It was not pretty at all.

I slipped up. I fell down. Now it is time to pick myself back up again and forgive myself because it wasn't the first time and it certainly won't be the last.

I am re-reading PastaQueen's book, Half-Assed. When I read it the first time (around my 50th pound lost) I knew I would re-read it periodically in order to gain new perspective based on where I currently was in my own journey to lose half of me. Today was the perfect day to read the "I Should Know Better By Now" chapter. In it, she talks about planning to make and over indulge in muffins and feeling self disgust after she'd done it. But then she goes on to talk about how she isn't perfect:

I wasn't a 100 percent perfect dieter. No one was. If I fell out of bed, I wouldn't call myself a failure at sleeping. I'd get up and make a note to sleep toward the middle of the bed. My mother liked to say I was a work in progress. It was hard to progress if you were always perfect.

I am not a diet failure. In previous attempts at weight loss I've always been a diet quitter. But if I never quit, then I can never fail because failing is simply a result of giving up.

And in yet another bit of timely confirmation, Denise @ It's Not a Diet, It's a Weigh of Life... had a post today called Walking the Tight Rope.

In the WW meeting, we also talked about walking the "tight rope of weight loss" where you feel like you have to walk this narrow line of a diet and keep on plan, because if you fall off you just fall off completely and never get back on. Our leader stated that sometimes, you just got to get off the tight rope and take a different path worth walking that isn't so narrow and restrictive.

In the past that was me to a fault. I only saw that narrow line and didn't realize that there were different paths to be trod. So when I inevitably fell I would believe that I had to abandon it all because I hadn't been perfect. That isn't so this time. I don't feel this enormous pressure to stick to the thin line of perfectionism that so often fades because we can't even get near enough to see it properly. I know that I will mess up and I have to be okay with that. I can always start again.

I WILL start again.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Jogging: My Memory

I did something today that was extraordinary. I walked 5.5 miles. Well, that is not exactly accurate. You see, I walked 5 miles and jogged half a mile.

I jogged!

Me, the woman who sat on the couch a year ago and thought that gastric bypass surgery was my only hope actually jogged!

Me, the woman who didn't want to walk around the corner to the bus stop every day so much that she took cabs to and from work actually jogged!

To be honest, I've not been all that satisfied with the lack of a challenge that walking has been bringing me lately. I wanted something more, something that would push me like walking used to do. When I started walking I felt like I was climbing a mountain every day, like I had achieved something. Now it is merely exercise. I do it, but I am not straining to do it anymore. It has become almost too easy. I'm up to doing 3 miles in an hour.

So I ran a Google search on how to start jogging. It seemed simple enough:
  • start out walking for at least 5 minutes
  • start jogging and only do as much as you can without feeling like you can't breathe
  • stop and resume walking until your breathing returns to a normal rhythm
  • repeat the process over and over
I confess that the half a mile did not happen all at once. It came in short spurts along with the regular walking routine. When I neared the end of each jog, my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest it was beating so rapidly. I've never pushed myself so much (relax, I wasn't killing myself, merely pushing myself past the point I've ever been before). I remember praying for God to give me strength. I also questioned my sanity more than a few times along the way. Who willingly puts themselves through this ordeal? It is truly frightening. I suppose the most frightening bit is that I not only plan to do it again tomorrow night and beyond, I also sort of liked it.

Who IS this woman inside me? She is one tough cookie.

Food Log: 01.03.08

Splurge Saturday was indeed a splurge day. I ate that much food. I admit it. Wait until you see what tomorrow will bring, today will look like a light day.

I did walk today, but the tale of that deserves a post all its own.

foodww points
l: tortilla chips [1 basket] *chachos* 9
l: guacamole [6 oz] *chachos* 6
l: bean & cheese tacos [2] *chachos* 14
s: skinny vanilla latte [grande] *starbucks* 3
d: vegetable egg roll [1] *central market* 5
d: orzo w/ garden vegetables [5 oz] *central market* 4
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Food Log: 01.02.09

Wow!  Today was so easy.  I ate fewer points than I had thought I had but I was eating all day.  Strange.

Tomorrow is my favorite day of the week - Splurge Saturday!  I eat whatever I want that is still lacto-vegetarian, but use all of my allotted daily WW points and maybe a few extra.  I plan on going in to work and getting a jump start on an insanely busy week next week, so the splurging will probably be mostly a breakfast meal.

So, how has 2009 been treating everyone thus far?

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market* 2
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon* 1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran* 2
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca* 2
l: greek pasta salad [5 oz] *central market* 3
l: broccoli slaw [3 oz] 1
s: bosc pear [1] 2
s: garlic & herb crackers [18] *all bran* 2
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow* 1
d: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market* 3
d: sauteed snap peas & carrots [5 oz] *central market* 3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Food Log: 01.01.09

Don't you just love New Years? It brings such a feeling of renewal and commitment. Of course I have been committed to escaping from the prison of fat for 6 months now and it is all very much a routine. But I still feel reenergized with the idea of a brand new year and all of the potential things I can do.

Day 1 of 2009 was a good one. I ate a little more than I wanted to points-wise, but still within my daily alloted 34 WW points. I also managed to get in a 1.25 mile walk. My goal this year is to get in some exercise every day. It may not be a lot, but moving at all is a good thing. I must make exercise a non-negotiable priority in my daily routine.

foodww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *empire cafe* 1
b: toasted english muffin [1] *empire cafe* 3
b: cream cheese [2 tbsp] *empire cafe* 2
b: fresh fruit [1 cup] *empire cafe* 2
l: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory* 1
l: spicy chik'n patty [1] *boca* 3
l: broccoli slaw [3 oz] 1
s: apple [1 large] 2
s: garlic & herb crackers [18] *all bran* 2
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow* 1
d: vegetable lasagna [1 square] *central market* 9
d: wilted spinach [4 oz] *central market* 2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market* 1

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.