Couch2Bed Tonight

No workout of any kind tonight.   It is cold, I am tired and it is supposed to be a rest day anyway for C25K.

The plan is to eat some dinner (oatmeal and peanut butter are on the menu tonight), watch Biggest Loser and go to bed once it is over.  Today seemed extraordinarily long for some reason.  It was a good day, just didn't seem to want to end.

I had another NSV moment when someone that works in my building complimented me on my weight loss.  They stopped me as I was heading to the escalator this morning.  That just never gets old or stops being cool to me.

Okay, I'm out.  I will check up on blogland tomorrow.  Next stop, Pajamaville!

C25K: Week 1, Day 2

Disclaimer:  Please excuse the level of excitability below.  My mind, it is blown away.

OMG.  I understand you guys.  I understand why runners run.  I understand the high.  The number of calories burned is just over the freaking top for only a few freaking minutes of running a day.  Who knew this and did not tell me?  I can burn more calories running for a few minutes than in an hour fighting it out on the treadmill.

Running, its gonna be my new obsession.

Bank on it.

ETA:  Okay I have calmed a bit and maybe, perhaps realized that the "runners high" was nothing more than excitement than "holy crap, I'm doing this"!  It still felt good though.

WSR: Weight 238.4 - Weight Left To Lose 68.4

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 238.4 lbs
Pounds Lost: 131.6 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 68.4 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 35.57%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 65.80%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 37.3
BMI Lost: 20.6


A small loss of 1.2 lbs during TOM is a very big thing indeed.  I'm happy with that.

The water intake has begun to be routine.  I don't feel even a little bit overwhelmed by the volume and my body is adapting well to it.  I feel better because of it.  So, even if you are still working to drink your water - drink your water.  It is good for you.

Fitness is my biggest focus right now.  I'm going to continue to do the C25K and build up my speed and endurance.  There is a 5K in January that I really want to run.  I think I am going to make that my official goal because that keeps the pressure on to adhere to the training program.

13 weeks back on plan and 38.6 lbs lost.
6 weeks on the DDDYC and 12.6 lbs lost.

Onward and downward y'all!

Sunday: Today's Plate

I'm up.  I sent my weigh in to Allan.  It is a loss.  It is not as large as I would like, but considering I am smack dab in the middle of TOM, I will take it!  Official weigh in is tomorrow.

I've got lots on the plate for today. 

• Finish up a photography web site for a client.  The design is done and looks great.   I have to still tweak a few plugins to give the full range of functionality that she wants. 

• Do laundry.  It is getting kind of scary.

• Cook a few dishes to eat on for the week.  Erika's spaghetti squash bake is probably one of them.

• Attempt to tackle cleaning out my closet.  There are some clothes that just don't fit anymore and I need the space.  I am on the verge of completely changing pant sizes (20 to 18).  I plan on buying new pants and a few skirts when the new year rolls around.  I should be solidly in a size 18 by the end of next month.

• Walk another 5K. I plan on trying out the 5K program on the treadmill. I think I might now be up to the mph that it requires.

• And as always football is on tap.

I wish everyone a great Sunday.

C25K: Day 1

I just completed Day 1 of the C25K training plan.  It was a breeze.

The plan only required me to run for 1 minute at a time and I just logged a 6 minute run on my own on Thursday.  All of the prep work I've been doing has built up my endurance.  So now as I follow the training plan I am already ahead of it in terms of stamina and fitness.

It was weird running on pavement vs. a treadmill.  The ground seemed to have more give under my feet.  I have been advised by some runners that I know that if I am going to run in a 5K that I have to put in time off-treadmill because of the differences.  It is a beautiful day so that I thought I would take advantage and get cracking on some actual road time.

I felt awkward running in public like that but strangely confident at the same time.

I'm a runner!  How cool is that?

That Treamill Is A Liar!

I have always hated the middle treadmill at the fitness center.  It gives me a lower calories burned than the other two.  I knew it had to be wrong but couldn't really prove it.  Now I can.

When I got downstairs tonight there was only one other guy there so I got my usual treadmill by the window, but the TV mounted to it wasn't working.  I do love to get my HGTV on while working out because I get lost in the show and then *boom* an hour is over.  The guy in there with me had grabbed the third treadmill so I was stuck with the middle one.  Did I mention it was a liar and that I hate it?  So I hopped on it anyway and off I went.  I worked my fanny off (not literally - it is still there), but I think you get the point.  I tried out 3.6 mph for half an hour after discovering last night that 3.4 mph was just a tad too easy for me now.  I'm not going to lie, I struggled the entire half hour to keep up with the pace but it was a nice challenge.  If I am going to run I have to increase my stamina.  But back to the lying treadmill.  When I finish my hour it gives me some whacked out calorie burn that was way less than last night's burn in which I didn't walk as far or as fast.  So I stretched out my calves and came back up to my apartment, plugged in my bodybugg and found that my calorie's burned were on par with last night.  A Ha!  Score.  I knew that treadmill was a liar!

3.46 miles walked - 595 calories burned (according to bodybugg)

When Does The Black Begin To Fade?

I'm up, breakfast has been had and now I am wondering what to do with the rest of my day.

Part of me wants to try to go to the Galleria and see what is on sale. I need some new tops. The only ones that fit well now are the few L I already have. The XL are all pretty baggy and loose. However, the sane part of my brain is wondering why on earth I would venture out on Black Friday. Is there a time when it is safe to go? Are all of the 4 AM folks worn out by like noon? When does the black begin to fade?

I've got one more mug of coffee to finish and then it is off to the shower.

I think I might just fight the madness and go.

ETA: No madness for me. I am going to try out my new C25K app on the streets of the 'hood instead. I only wanted to go shopping to get some activity in. I think I will skip the crazy people and just get my run on.

Thanksgiving: The Reckoning

I did good today. 1727 calories consumed. 590 calories burned.  I saw Thanksgiving and I kicked its ass if I do say so myself.  And I do.  I really, really do.

Breakfast (314 calories):
MorningStar Farms Breakfast Patties (2)
Tangerines (2)
Coffee w/ Unsweetened Soy Milk (3 mugs)





Snack (153 calories):
Muenster cheese slices (2)







Lunch/Dinner (1260 calories):
Grilled Salmon Paprika (Recipe: The Pioneer Woman)
Roasted Green Bean Almondine
Roasted Brussel Sprouts (Recipe: GreenLiteBites)
Mashed Acorn Squash w/ Blue Cheese

Five and a half hours later and I am still stuffed.

I signed up for the Virtual Turkey Trot at Daily Mile.  All you had to do was run, walk or bike a 5K today and donate to the Saint Jude's Children's hospital.  I had planned on getting on the treadmill anyway, so why not donate to a worthy cause at the same time?

Today's workout saw two of my personal bests.  I walked the longest distance in a hour (3.40 miles) and I ran my longest single run (6 minutes).  3.4 miles per hour also seems to be my baseline now.  I can do that rate of speed relatively easy so I am going to amp it up to 3.6 miles per hour tomorrow and see how that goes.

How did everyone's Thanksgiving turn out?  Did you make smart choices?

What Are You Going To Do?

The big day is here.

You have two choices.

1. You can get caught up in the hype that you must consume every single thing put in front of you in far more voluminous portions than you want or need.
2. You can take a deep breath and remember that this is only one meal and eat reasonable portions of the most healthy offerings.

What are you going to do?

I know what I am going to do.  My meal is all planned out - salmon paprika, mashed acorn squash, roasted green bean almondine and roasted brussel sprouts.  I am going to finish my coffee and then put my salmon in the marinade and let that sit until it is time to go in the grill plan around 2:50 PM.  I want to eat my meal when the Cowboys/Saints game comes on.  There are no cakes, cookies or pies of any sort.  After the game I plan on getting in an hour on the treadmill to burn off some calories.  Then I will shower and begin watching Doctor Who Season 5 that I have downloaded from Amazon. The thing about no longer being a couch potato is that I have a huge backlog of great television stored up to watch.

Choose wisely, y'all.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Don't Compete ... Just Complete

I'm sitting here watching the Biggest Loser: Where Are They Now? special.  I am wheepy and emotional and cranky and crampy.  The most special time of the month is here.  It arrived on my doorstep today.  Oh joy!

Did you know that the slogan for the first Biggest Loser 5K was Don't Compete ... Just Complete?  I am fairly new viewer of the show having only watched part of season 8, all of season 9 and for some reason this season which is not the most inspiring despite having one of the most kickass women - Ada Wong.  I wish all of the seasons were on DVD so that I could catch up on the earlier seasons.

Back to the slogan though - Don't Compete ... Just Complete.  That is a really powerful motto and it got me to really think about if I have been doing enough lately to complete my journey. I haven't done the best job in getting my fitness in these past 3-4 weeks or so.  I did make two attempts to go down to the fitness center tonight but I was unable to get a treadmill both times.  When the show is over I plan on making another stab at it.  Do you think I want to do anything other than curl up in bed and watch tv until I fall asleep?  Aunt Flo is great in motivating you to do crap like that when you know you shouldn't.

But I can either choose to make this week a great week or I can phone it in.  If I can make this week of all weeks a great one then there is really no excuse for the 51 other weeks of the year now are there?

I choose to complete.

What do you choose?

ETA:  The third time was the charm.  There was nobody in the fitness center and I got my favorite treadmill by the window.  60 minutes - 3.27 miles - 554 calories burned.

Fair Warning: You Will NOT Be Coddled!

Allan has enacted a No Coddling policy which this blog officially endorses.

Follow The Rules.

Drink Your Water.

Do not complain about the scale not working if you inhale half your body weight in food.

And for those that have trouble with the whole calendar thingamajig, Thanksgiving ends at 12:00 AM Friday morning at which you point you should have long stopped eating.

Short Work Day & I Venture Into The Belly Of The Beast

I have to go into work today for 270 minutes (4 1/2 hours for those of you who can't carry the one).

Then I venture into the belly of the best - Central Market - on the day before Thanksgiving. That place is a madhouse on a normal weekend that isn't the biggest food holiday known to man. Today though? I'm scared y'all. Thankfully I have my list and it is rather short. I have to get salmon, agave nectar and acorn squash for tomorrow's meal and maybe some more Splenda and veggie sausage. Then I am out of there. Note to the grandmas that think it is cute to walk as slow as possible when going nowhere in particular: I ain't having it today granny! Get out of my way and we are good. Otherwise? It is SO on.

1:30 brings 4 1/2 solid days of solitudinal (I know I made this word up, but it would be a great word) bliss. I plan to study Visual Basic .NET, watch me some football, eat a little bit, work out because I know the fitness center will be a ghost town (heaven!), read at least one of the many books that have been sitting there collecting dust and clean out my closet.

Now it is time to throw myself in the shower and get dressed.

Ciao y'all!

Thankful For The Journey

I don't want to jinx it but the weigh in this week should put me at my lowest weight since I first began this journey to take off 200 lbs on Thursday, June 18th, 2008.

There have been some ups and downs.

There has some weight lost and regained more than a few times.

There have been some changes both large and small.

There have been some moments of revelation.

Yet most of all this journey has been one of discovery.  Back when I had given up all hope of ever being thin and never knowing that I could lose the weight, I knew that there was this woman inside me screaming to get out.  She had a voice but no one could hear her under the layers of fat and self-loathing.  The shell that she existed in was her prison that stifled everything that she was or what she longed to become.

It hasn't been an easy trip this journey of mine.  Discovering exactly who and what you are is a painful process when you are buried under mounds of once protective fat that has long since caved in on you.  It is a process of peeling back the damaged layers to reveal the flesh beneath that is throbbing and crying out against the chill of the fresh air.  The newness of it all is frightening.  You walk through each day unsure of how to proceed because you've sat in one spot for so long.  The path beneath your feet is so odd and alien.  Even the most simple of things feels like a monumental undertaking.  But you do it.  You've got no choice.  This is what you dreamed of - having a chance to live your life instead of watching it pass you by.  So, you deal.  You work it out one step at a time.  You are thankful for each of those steps because they have all taught you something along the way.

You learned that there is nothing that you cannot accomplish after moving the immovable mountain.

You learned that you have more confidence and belief in yourself that you ever realized.

You learned that there are many people that will stop and cheer you along the way.

You learned that with small change there can be big change.  The immovable mountain does not have to be moved all at once.  You can carry one grain of sand, one pebble, one rock, one boulder at a time in whatever weight you can manage at that point in time.  Eventually that mountain gets moved.

You learn that just because your heart gets broken, that you don't get broken.  You learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and press on.  The journey must be completed.

You learn that 2 lbs lost a week is better than 7 lbs lost if you eat a balanced diet and not attempt to play tricks with the scale.

You learn that as you take this journey that you want to bring other people with you.  You want to help them walk that same road because you know what is at the end of it.  You don't want anyone to feel as hopeless as you once did because there is an answer.

In the end, you find you.  You find the real you.  And that makes the entire journey worthwhile.

Thanksgiving Menu

I have decided that I am going to make Grilled Salmon Paprika, roasted green bean almondine and mashed acorn squash with blue cheese for Thanksgiving dinner.

My diet doesn't consist of a lot of animal based proteins (outside of my daily eggs for breakfast).  So I want to treat myself for turkey day but still stay true to my plan.

This is the plan.

I will stick to it.

What is your plan?

WSR: Weight 239.6 - Weight Left To Lose 69.6

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 239.6 lbs
Pounds Lost: 130.4 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 69.6 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 35.24%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 65.20%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 37.5
BMI Lost:20.4

I had a plan.  I stuck to it.  I lost weight.  I'm down 2.4 lbs for the week.

The water isn't so much an issue anymore.  I drink within the range that Allan assigned and my body has gotten used to the new intake.  The key here is not to freak over the daily fluctuations in the scale.  It will all work itself out eventually.

I hope by now that everyone has their plan for Turkey Day and there is no escape clause.  Don't think that a smidge here and a smidge there won't hurt you.  It will.  Your body doesn't care if you are trying to fudge the numbers.  It won't let you.  Don't set yourself up for disappointment for next week's weigh in.  Stick to the plan and follow the rules.  The rules work!

12 weeks back on plan and 37.4 lbs lost.
4 weeks on the DDDYC and 11.4 lbs lost.

Onward and downward y'all!

Happy Sunday

I got up early and sent my weight in to Allan for the DDDYC.  It was another good week.

Tomorrow is the official TWIM weigh in day so results will be posted then.

I am about to go make my breakfast and laze about for a bit until it is time to get ready for church.

The Cowboys aren't on television this week in Houston.  But the Jets vs. Texans game is going to be the better game so I will let it slide.  Huh?  TiVo didn't update the schedule for this game until after they did for the Thanksgiving Day game.  They are on TV this week.  Anyhoo, the Cowboys should add another win this week against the Lions.  I'm liking the discipline that Jason Garrett is bringing.  I believe it was the root cause of why they were inexplicably losing games that they should have won. 

Happy Sunday!

It Is Always Better In The Morning

No matter how dark it is at the end of the day or how bad I may feel it is always better in the morning.

The refrigerator has been conquered and is now sitting quietly in the kitchen minding its own business and not calling out to me.  I am renewed in my quest to never seek solace in it again.  That road always leads to more misery than that which made me seek it out for solace in the first place.

Losing 200 lbs is more than about the math and the science of it all.  I didn't get to be 370 lbs because I just adored food (although, I really do).  I got to be 370 lbs because food was my drug.  It was the temporary salve against the wounds and the scars that I didn't want to face.  Some of them are occasionally ripped open and leave me gasping for breath, wanting to return to the high calorie days of yesteryear and the comforts that they bring.  But I just can't do that anymore.  I have come too far in this.  I have learned too much about myself to ever turn back.  So on I must press despite the pain and defeat those old demons that rear their heads anew.

Food isn't the answer.

The answer lies within me.  I simply have to find it.

The day is bright and beautiful in Houston.  My blinds are open and the room is awash in the golden rays of an afternoon sun.  HGTV is on the television.  I have partaken in some most excellent well-roasted coffee from my local coffee house.  Life is good.  I don't want anyone to think that these posts of mine that expose the demons I face are indicative of anything is truly wrong.  It isn't.  I may be in pain, but I am also full of hope because I have already conquered the worst demons of all and that makes these lesser demons far less scary.  This blog is about my entire journey and that journey can run through some dark corners.  I can and will face them.

Onward and downward, y'all!

Food Is Not The Answer

Life is hard sometimes.

We face our own flaws.

We are wounded by the hurtfulness of others.

But, food?  It is not the answer.

Facing the pain head on and being true to ourselves is the way that we should go.

So I will shut the refrigerator, turn out the lights, sleep and face a new day tomorrow refreshed in the knowledge that I am stronger that I have ever been.  I no longer seek to numb the pain.  I aim to overcome it.

An Early Night & 42 More Days

I'm hitting the sack just right after I hit the Publish Post button on this here blog post.  Although monumentally successful, today was a hugely brain draining day and I am just beat.

Do I get senior discounts on stuff for going to bed at the same time that they do.  :just wondering:

I'll have to catch up on your blogs tomorrow night.  Hope you are all doing well on the DDDYC.  I really don't want to have to watch Allan smack you around.  Here's a tip - DRINK THE FUCKING WATER.  I think it might be important.

There are 42 more days until the 2010 holiday season is over and we can all breathe a sigh of relief that fattening food is not every-freaking-where we turn.  The kitchen at work was just not a diet friendly place today what with all the cakes and cookies and pies and macaroni and cheese and stuffing and ham and carb-laden casseroles lying around.  Nary a drop of it touched my lips during my frequent trips to the water filter.  Those accounting folks love to stuff their faces y'all.  There was so much food you would have thought they were cooking for Fort Hood or something. 

Good night peeps.  Happy Friday Eve!

Fat Cancer Update

This is what I ate at today's Thanksgiving potluck luncheon:

Me? I'm proud but also pretty damned disappointed I wasn't able to say "I have Fat Cancer."

I Have Fat Cancer

Tomorrow is our annual Thanksgiving potluck lunch at work.  If you saw the list of what everyone else is bringing you would advise me to call in sick.  There isn't a healthy thing on the menu - rich desserts and casseroles abound.

I am bringing roasted carrots and green beans.  So at least there will be something I can eat.

If anyone gives me any guff I am going to use Allan's Fat Cancer line:

I can't, I have fat Cancer. If I eat [it], it will speed up my death.

That ought to shut them up, right? < / evil grin >

A New, Brighter Outlook

Today was a much better day emotionally than I have had in a long time.  Yesterday I went to church and had lunch with my friend that used to be my boss and my friend but is now 100% my friend.  Did you get all of that?

We talked about the issue that has been plaguing me for a while now, of which she has firsthand experience, and it was great to get a new perspective.  I faced today with a renewed outlook and it was such a relief to not have to carry something that I just don't have any control over right now.  All I can be is me.  All I can do is the right thing.  You know what?  I can handle that.  I also now know that I am not alone in this and that gives me strength.

I have also been informed that I have two new siblings.  I've been adopted by my friend/former boss/now 100% friend and her partner.  He and I share a similar, difficult background.  It is cool to know that we are all family now.

Another thing that has seriously helped my mood and energy level is the addition of Vitamin D to my daily routine.  I am taking 5000 IUs a day and it has helped me tremendously with eradicating the effects of the seasonal affective disorder.  Thanks, once again, Princess Dieter!  Any other supplements I should take?  I am all ears because the last two you suggested are working out quite well.

WSR: Weight 242.0 - Weight Left To Lose 72.0

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 242.0 lbs
Pounds Lost: 128.0 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 72.0 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 34.59%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 64.00%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 37.9
BMI Lost:20.0

I drank the water.  I freaked a bit.  I still lost weight.  2.2 lbs to be exact.  I have now lost weight for 11 straight weeks in a row.  Diet and exercise work if you just keep doing it.  Who knew?  This would be a huge seller if only people knew about this miraculous cure for obesity.  I can't believe I managed to stumble upon it.

11 weeks back on plan and 35.0 lbs lost.
3 weeks on the DDDYC and 9 lbs lost.

Onward and downward y'all!

Chillaxing & Crunching The Numbers

Tomorrow is my official weigh in.  I am going to stick with that because Monday works for me.  But I weighed today and sent my results in for the challenge.

I lost 2.2 lbs in 5 days.  That is a good weight loss for that period of time.

The reason why I was so panicky was because the scale had climbed as high as 248 (4 lb gain) this week but I think it was the result of drinking far too much water at first and my body freaked out.  So now I am drinking at the level that Allan assigned and it seems to be back to normal.  I also found that halting fluids at 5PM seems to be conducive for a good weigh in.

Consider me chillaxed. The ApeSh*t Alert has been canceled.

Going ApeSh*t On The Scale

I'm just letting y'all know that if you see on the national news that some woman in Houston went apeshit on a scale tomorrow morning that would be me.

The water I am drinking is good.  It is healthy.  I get the maths of it all.  I do.  I am a math kind of girl and do analysis for a living.  You do not need to tell me about the maths.

But the scale is punishing me for it.

I've been so on plan this week, even through some hard times, and this piece of metal and plastic is being a real asshole about giving me a number I like.

And through it all I am still DRINKING THE FUCKING WATER!

Yes Allan, I still feel ya.

This Face, It Ain't Stuffed

I have been having a hard time lately with some pretty emotionally draining things.  In times past that would have meant a mad dash to stick my head in the refrigerator and not emerge until I was 40-50 lbs heavier.

God is a pretty danged cool dude though.  He orchestrated the best week ever of compliments and gushing about my weight loss to keep me from crashing into full on binge eating.  Each and every day I would run into people noticing and commenting on just how much weight I've lost.  This did not suck.  It was just what I needed to keep right on going and not succumb to the urge to stuff my face until I couldn't breathe.

I may have felt like hell, but I remained on plan and on track.

So I am going to chalk this up to a non-scale victory with a huge assist from the Big Man upstairs.

Option 2 Is A Go!

I have never in my life talked about poop so much but today I am all good in that department.

Thanks to Princess Dieter I am back in the poop.

And these?

They are the bomb diggity!  They work super fast and made me feel oh, so much better.

ETA:  And because this post is all about poop, how about some toilet humor courtesy of The Oatmeal? Yeah, I don't think those things work either.

A Few Things & Then Its Lights Out

The time change has kicked my ass today.  I am ready to drift off into dream land right now.  So a few things and then I am doing just that.

1. I had a much more sane day today with the fluids.  I only consumed 156 oz (16 oz coffee / 140 oz water).
2. Grocery shopping on a weeknight?  Awesome!  I went.  I got.  I'm done.  And I didn't have to fight a massive throng of folks that don't know what in the hell they are looking for.
3. I bought some Magnesium Citrate on the recommendation of Princess Dieter to help with option number two that seems to have ceased functioning as it should.
4. Pee breaks are leveling out to a normal level now.  I don't have to go all the time.  This is due, I suspect, to the football that is where my bladder should be.
5. Hope reigns supreme in my heart that the Cowboys might actually win a game this week after the long called for regime change.
6. Biggest Loser 10 is pissing me off.  If you watch, you should know why.
7. Now that LOST, 24 and Battlestar Galactica are off the air I have nothing to watch on television.  This former couch potato is just a skin of what she used to be.  I do miss me some Sawyer.  SonOfABitch!

Nighty, night y'all!  May your scales be lighter in the morning.

I've Been PeeWarded

Allan awarded the top losers on the DDDY Challenge Phase 1.  So I got this award.  I've never been prouder to talk about pee.

As a team, we did amazingly well. Stick with this, join late, the door is open. This shit works, and once again, I am not alone as the proof you need. The winners were those Challengers that excelled at losing the highest percentage of themselves. This is not a contest, but if you follow the rules, you get an award !!! The winners are

It is not too late to get in on this.  If you want to lose weight over the holidays then email Allan to sign up and join us on this water filled journey.

I Think I Went A Little Overboard

As is my tendency in a lot of things, see my ballooning to 370 pounds as Exhibit A, I may veer towards the obsessive side.

Today I consumed not 113 oz of fluid (my minimum), nor did I consume 133 oz (minimum for accelerated loss).  I consumed a total of 244 oz of fluid (64 oz of which was coffee and the rest was pure, pure water).

Tomorrow, maybe I will dial it back just a tad bit.

FYI... My sidebar contains my daily food diary along with fluids consumed.  I would rather do that than the tedium that is daily food blogging.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Phase 2 Starts Now

Allan, he of "its the math, stupid!" fame, has posted the Double Dog Dare You Challenge Part 2.  This challenge will run through December 8th and get us through the monster of all food holidays - Turkey Day.

I plan on watching the Cowboys lose again (hopefully not after the long called for coaching change yesterday, but seriously my 'Boys are killing me slowly).

Okay, where was I?

All of the challenge participants have been given their marching orders based on their current weight and their goal weight.

Here are mine:

Starting Weight: 244
Goal Weight: 170

Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)

Minimum Fluids:  113 oz
Minimum Fluids (Accelerated Weight Loss):  133 oz

Expected Weight on 12/08:  228
Expected Weight (Accelerated Weight Loss): 224

I am ditching the WW points in favor of the calorie goals because I think they work.  I use points to buy my food.  I will use the calorie goal to actually lose the weight.  And you know what?  I am perfectly fine with weighing between 224-228 lbs on December 8th.  I am not going to hate that at all.

Good luck to all the challengers.  Lets blow Allan's calculator apart with our results this time.

Onward and downward y'all!

ETA:  I am not going to lie.  When I typed out my title for this post I heard it in Phil Keoghan's (The Amazing Race) voice.

Double Dogged Waterlogged

I don't think it is any real coincidence that on the week that I really upped my water intake that I had the best weight loss of the last 10 weeks.

So I am on the water thing like you would not believe.

Today I had:

6 - 20 oz glasses of water
2 - 16 oz cups of coffee

That is a a grand total of 152 oz worth of fluids.

Oh yeah, I am doing it.

Option 2 Does Not Seem To Be Working Properly

How do I put this in a delicate way?  I don't think there is one but this is bugging the crap out of me (not literally as you will soon see) and I want to see if any of you guys have dealt with it as well.

Does anyone have trouble with the #2 function in the bathroom?

When I eat like crap - burgers, pizza and all that heavy carby food I am a #2 doing fool.  When I eat healthy fruits, veggies, beans etc. and lay off the stuff that keeps me fat then there is a breakdown in the output.  I am lucky to experience it once per week without assistance.  It gets downright uncomfortable at times.

I've tried Miralax.  I don't need to up my fiber by taking a pill or powder because God knows I am all about the fiber these days.  The only real relief I get is through glycerin products or Milk of Magnesia (which I don't take that often because it can mess you up if you abuse it).  I get enough liquids and even more now that I am on the water diet a la Allan.

I'm at a loss.  What more can I do?

WSR: Weight 244.2 - Weight Left To Lose 74.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 244.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 125.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 74.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 34.00%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 62.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 38.2
BMI Lost:19.7

Um, yeah, so how did I lose 4 lbs in a week that I did no exercise and was highly stressed for much of it?  That ain't supposed to happen.  There are science reasons that isn't supposed to work.  I am absolutely thrilled to post such a loss but am downright confuzzled that I did. 

Part one of the DDDYC is now complete.  I started at 250.6 and ended at 244.2 with a total 2 week weight loss of 6.4 lbs.

Release the water!  There is a flood a comin' now that Part two is upon us.

ETA:  Allan's math (okay, not Allan's math but you get the point) is that we need to drink .5 oz of water per lb that we currently weigh.  So my daily water drinkage should be 122 oz.  I ain't afraid of that.

10 weeks back on plan and 32.8 lbs lost.

Onward and downward y'all!

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 14

Breakfast: Soyrizo, roasted red pepper, cheese omelet plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch: Avocado, black bean, corn and cheese tacos.





Water:  128 oz consumed

Well, this is it - the final day of the DDDYC. I've done well on it, even better than I expected actually.  I even appreciate the new increase in water that is going to go up yet again starting tomorrow on phase two of the challenge. I am not going to post daily updates for this next phase. I post my pictures to my food diary located in the sidebar. If you like to see what I am eating you can check those out.

I'm excited for phase 2 because this challenge really keeps me focused on the day to day vs. the holiday rush to consume as much crap as possible because the calendar tells us to do it.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 13

Breakfast: Soyrizo, cheese omelet & veggie sausage plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch: Apple w/ peanut butter.




Dinner: Snap pea, mushroom, roasted red pepper, corn & veggie burger stir fry.




Water:  120 oz consumed

I have been working on upping my intake of H2O in preparation for the upcoming Waterworld that is going to be flooding through me next week thanks to you know who. He is, I suspect, getting quite a kick out of the mere thought of water newbs taking in that much.   Its been surprisingly easy for me though since that is pretty much all I normally drink besides coffee.  I gave up on drinking sodas in September.  It is just not good for you at all and it messes with the touch of arthritis I have in a formerly broken toe.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Am I Stuck This Way?

Morbid obesity has profoundly and it seems permanently affected my life.  It has driven how I have thought about myself and the world at large for half of my life.

I read other blogs and see that their author's have these amazing attitudes about accepting themselves just as they are regardless of size or shape and I am dumbfounded as to how they are able to do that.  It isn't that I believe they shouldn't believe that about themselves.  They should.  It is the normal, well adjusted way to think about oneself.  I am just dumbfounded because I don't think I have ever been able to see or think about myself that way.

My struggle with obesity started long before I actually became obese.  I didn't grow up in a home that nurtured me.  I grew up in a home that made size 12 me feel like I was the most gargantuan thing to walk the earth.  I was forced to diet.  I was ridiculed for having a piece of candy or more potatoes than was deemed proper.  This is where my poor body image came from.  I don't say this to make excuses.   I say this to understand why I feel so badly about my body and why I allowed myself to balloon to the brink of 400 lbs.  When Jessica, from Biggest Loser 10, spoke about gaining weight to spite her mom I understood why she did that.  I did that.  I loved the snack bar at school more than anything.  I was free to indulge in all of the comfort laden foods that it offered free from judgment.  I kept a stash of candy and chips in my room at all times, moved frequently to avoid discovery by a mom determined to squash my rebellion and inflict even more shame upon the embarrassment that I had become to her and my father.

So size 12 me grew and grew and grew.  I didn't see the changes in my body occurring.  I didn't even notice the larger sized clothing that I required.  Size 12 me felt like she was 400 lbs.  I have a picture of myself at 15 posing to hide my enormous belly.  Looking at that picture today I am awestruck at how thin I was.  I didn't know I was thin.  I thought I was huge.

A lifetime of self loathing has followed me.  It has kept me hidden and ashamed.  Even today after losing over 120 lbs, I am unable to engage in normal social banter with anyone I don't already know well because I have an anxiety attack.  I can't look most people in the eye without severe discomfort.  I have to force myself to do it.  It hurts.  I have spent most of my life with my eyes cast downward because I have lived in fear of the shame that was forced on me during my most formative of years. 

So I worry.  Am I stuck this way?  Am I doomed to live a life of solitude?  Am I always going to be the awkward freak that I have become?  I want to be able to make friends easier.  I want to be able to fall in love.  I want the same things that everyone else does.  I just don't know how to get there.  The weight is coming off.  The shell is shrinking and is now at a socially acceptable size, but the woman inside of it?  She is scarred and unsure as to how to live this life.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 12

Breakfast: Refried bean, soyrizo, sour cream & cheese tacos plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch: Blue cheese stuffed zucchini w/ tomato basil sauce and cheese & broccoli.



Dinner: Mashed acorn squash & peas.




Water:  108 oz consumed

Nothing to see here, just another boringly good day.  And thanks to Allan I think I am getting obsessed with drinking water.  My output is devoid of any shade of yellow whatsoever.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 11

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs w/ soyrizo, cheese & veggie sausage plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch: Mushroom Swiss burger (sans bun) & side salad.




Dinner: Oatmeal w/ pumpkin.




Water: 96 oz consumed

So are you guys sick of my daily food blogging yet?  There isn't much to say.  This is just another typical day for me.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 10

Breakfast: Eggs over easy and feta cheese atop portbello mushroom & veggie sausage plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch: Roasted cauliflower and green beans & veggie Italian sausage.




Snack: Gala apple.





Dinner: Oatmeal w/ pumpkin.




Water: 84 oz consumed

I don't want to get too cocky but I am feeling pretty darned settled into my routine.

I buy.  I prepare.  I eat.  I don't vary.

The holidays are going to be MY bitch this year.  I'm just letting y'all know.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 9

Breakfast: Soyrizo and cheese omelet plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch:  Blue cheese stuffed zucchini w/ tomato basil sauce, grilled eggplant and spinach.



Snack: Gala apple.




Dinner: Mashed acorn squash, veggie burger and mozzarella cheese.




Water: 94 oz consumed

Another routine day in eat like a thin person mode.  Routine is good though.  This shouldn't be a diet, it should just be the way that it is.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

Double Dog Dare You Challenge: Day 8

Breakfast: Eggs over easy and veggie sausage plus coffee - 3 cups (with unsweetened soy milk).



Lunch: Roasted cauliflower w/ asiago cheese, roasted green beans and black bean burger.



Snack: String cheese.




Dinner: Oatmeal w/ peanut butter, banana & cranberries.




Water: 100 oz consumed


I am no longer counting calories or WW points.  The tendency towards obsession and burn out is strong with me and if I relax and approach this from a laid back position then I am much more successful.  This should be a way of life, not a stress.  So I will continue to post my daily recaps but no longer log calories or points.  I know I am eating <=1870 calories and really that is the whole point of this - eat like a thin person does as a matter of course.

---

Starting Weight: 251
Goal Weight: 170
Calorie Goal:  <=1870 calories (170 * 11)
WW Points Goal:  20-25 WW points (150-174 lb goal weight range)

This post brought to you by:
Double Dog Dare You Challenge
created by Allan @ Almost Gastric Bypass.

WSR: Weight 248.2 - Weight Left To Lose 78.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 42

Starting Weight: 370.0 lbs
Goal Weight: 170.0 lbs

Current Weight: 248.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 121.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 78.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 32.92%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 60.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 38.9
BMI Lost:19.0

I have been a bad, bad girl.  I managed to drop 2.4 lbs this weigh in but I failed to do even one lick of exercise.  Okay that isn't entirely true.  I do walk a total of a mile each day (half a mile to and from work) but I never log that as official exercise.

This week, however, is the one that will see the start of my Couch to 5K program.  I'm excited.  I can already run 5 continuous minutes.

The DDDYC that Allan created is brilliant.  It really keeps you focused on the daily intake vs. the OMG its the holidays and I can't eat drama.  I did not, in fact, eat the f*cking candy.  I'm looking forward to phase 2 that he is going to unveil on Thursday.  It just may get me through to the New Year on track and having lost weight instead of gaining it.  I am telling you one thing though, I am not tracking calories or points anymore.  It is wearing me out.  The laid back approach works for me so much better.  I know what to eat and how much to eat.  I will post a daily update on what that is, but no more counting.  I did that for a week and I didn't do anything differently than I had the previous 8 weeks I have been back on plan.

9 weeks back on plan and 28.8 lbs lost.

Onward and downward y'all!