Saturday, November 20, 2010

It Is Always Better In The Morning

No matter how dark it is at the end of the day or how bad I may feel it is always better in the morning.

The refrigerator has been conquered and is now sitting quietly in the kitchen minding its own business and not calling out to me.  I am renewed in my quest to never seek solace in it again.  That road always leads to more misery than that which made me seek it out for solace in the first place.

Losing 200 lbs is more than about the math and the science of it all.  I didn't get to be 370 lbs because I just adored food (although, I really do).  I got to be 370 lbs because food was my drug.  It was the temporary salve against the wounds and the scars that I didn't want to face.  Some of them are occasionally ripped open and leave me gasping for breath, wanting to return to the high calorie days of yesteryear and the comforts that they bring.  But I just can't do that anymore.  I have come too far in this.  I have learned too much about myself to ever turn back.  So on I must press despite the pain and defeat those old demons that rear their heads anew.

Food isn't the answer.

The answer lies within me.  I simply have to find it.

The day is bright and beautiful in Houston.  My blinds are open and the room is awash in the golden rays of an afternoon sun.  HGTV is on the television.  I have partaken in some most excellent well-roasted coffee from my local coffee house.  Life is good.  I don't want anyone to think that these posts of mine that expose the demons I face are indicative of anything is truly wrong.  It isn't.  I may be in pain, but I am also full of hope because I have already conquered the worst demons of all and that makes these lesser demons far less scary.  This blog is about my entire journey and that journey can run through some dark corners.  I can and will face them.

Onward and downward, y'all!

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