Food Log: 12.31.08

The last day of 2008 ended the year on a good note. I ate within the points range I wanted.

My favorite new thing is dried fruits & nuts by peeled snacks that are now available at a movie theater in downtown Houston. I had the bing cherry/apple/peach/walnut/cashew blend. It is so nice to be able to have a snack at the movies that isn't high in fat or sugar. I know where I am going to the movies from now on. I won't have to fight myself to only order a diet soda and be satisfied. I can have a snack too. Awesome!

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ sugar free creamer [1 - 16 oz]	2
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran*	2
b: banana [1 large]	2
l: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory*	1
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: stewed okra & tomatoes [5 oz] *texas chicken*	3
s: fruit & nuts [1 package] *peeled snacks*	6
d: sauteed snap peas & carrots [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: roasted yukon potatoes [5 oz] *central market*	4
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

2008: That's A Wrap

I am not going to write a long, eloquent end of year post and wax nostalgic.

I am not going to bloviate on all of my plans for 2009.

What I will do is celebrate:

• I am leaving 2008 a whole lot lighter than I started it
  
• I have established real, consistent changes in my lifestyle
  
• I look and feel better than I ever have in my life

There will be no New Year's Resolutions from me. I don't believe in them because they put undue pressure on people to be perfect and nobody ever lives up to that.

My plans for 2009 do not include resolution, but merely a commitment to continue what was started in 2008:

• eat a rich and healthy diet filled with all of the fruits, grains, vegetables and beans that I can handle
• make exercise a top, non-negotiable, priority in my life
• look for new ways to make a happier and healthier me
• never beat myself up for slipping and always pick myself up when I do
• face each new day with enthusiasm to stick to the plan

That, in a nutshell, is how I feel about 2008 and what I aim to do in 2009. I hope you will join me in this endeavor. I love the constant stream of support that I have found here on the world wide web. I would love to have you along for the ride.

Happy New Year!

Food Log: 12.30.08

Today was such a great day food wise. I ate within my targeted points range. I ate healthy and tasty food and I feel like myself again. It feels amazing to have my routine back.

I did not walk yet again because I was helping my neighbor with her computer and it got too late to walk in the dark. This is frustrating. I need to walk! My goal is to get up early tomorrow morning and get it done before work.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
b: oatmeal w/ blueberries [5 oz] *central market*	4
b: banana [1 large]	2
l: spicy chik'n patty [1] *boca*	3
l: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [5 oz] *central market*	3
l: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	2
s: garlic & herb crackers [18] *all bran*	2
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow*	1
s: clementine [1]	1
d: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: sauteed snap peas & carrots [5 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	26

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

10 Reasons To Lose 10 Pounds

Linda @ Operation Stick To It AND Kiki @ Overhauling Me tagged me with a meme - 10 reasons to lose 10 plus pounds (for some...Another 10 lbs!)

Rules:

List the 10 reasons why you are losing weight

Tag 5 other

Be sure to post these rules on your post

Be sure to link the blog that tagged you

See, simple, right? 

My reasons for losing 10 pounds + a whole lot more are:

1. I want to live a long, healthy, happy life.  If I don't lose this weight  I won't get to have a life that is any of those things.
2. At some point I think I might actually want to start dating again.  I want to be attractive to the type of men that I find attractive.  Sex is much easier that way, or so I am told.
   
3. I want to take a backpacking trip through Europe.  I promised myself that I could go if I ever lost the weight.  I REALLY want to go.
4. My father died earlier than he should have because of his excesses.  I don't want that to happen to me because of mine.
5. I want to never look at any seat, booth or chair again and know that I am not going to fit into it without causing myself some serious embarassment, pain, and/or inability to breathe.
6. I want to know what it is like to be able to put on a bathing suit and go the pool or the beach and not have to cover myself with a tee shirt and shorts because I don't want to sicken anyone else by the sight of me.
7. Clothes.  I love them.  I want to be able to wear anything I want and know that I look good in it.
8. I don't want to have another surgery to remove or repair an organ that was perfectly healthy at birth.  My gallbladder will be my only victim.
9. I have found that I am quite addicted to the compliments I've gotten from people that see I am losing weight.  I want more!
10. I want to lose weight most of all because I don't want anything in this life to beat me.  This wall of fat has kept me hidden away from the world long enough.  I am doing this on my own without surgery and I am doing it my way.

My Tag Team...

Neelith @ Weight Loss: One Day at a Time

Denise @ It's Not a Diet, It's a Weigh Of Life

Sam @ On My Way to Being a Healthy Bride

Bunny Trails @ Naturally Wandering

Wendi @ So Long Self

Food Log: 12.29.08

I'm late posting yesterday's food log because I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment last night. I stayed the night with my neighbor, but didn't have access to the internet. I thought that her offering me a bed to sleep in was good, asking to use the internet seemed a bit much.

Yesterday went well. I stayed within the points range I was aiming for and am now starting to feel like myself after the Christmas indulgence. My body feels like mine again instead of this sluggish thing that I don't recognize.

I was all set to go walk my 3 miles when the locking out happened. I had iPod in hand and was walking out the door. I turned to grab my keys but another neighbors' conversation distracted me and I closed the door without them. So I am really raring to walk tonight - getting back into my routine is vital at this point. Once I reestablish that, I will be good for the new year.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran*	2
s: clementine [1]	1
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
l: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	2
s: banana [1 large]	2
s: clementine [1]	1
d: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [8 oz] *central market*	6
d: wilted spinach [4 oz] *central market*	2
d: roasted rosemary potatoes [4 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

On Target

I did something last night that I haven't done in at least a decade and a half. I bought clothes from Target.

I bought four pairs of pants:

1. Mossimo Black Plus Charcoal Striped Trousers
2. Merona Plus Plaid Pants Blue
3. Merona Plus Bramble Tan Calvary Twill Pants
4. Merona Plus Corduroy Pants Grey

I've needed new pants for a few months now because every pair that I own are baggy. I am walking around looking dumpy because I've lost so much weight that the fabric drapes off of me. I am starting to walk on the bottoms of most of them. I tripped over my own pants last week so much I thought I was going to hurt myself. While losing weight and having clothes too big for me is a good thing, it looks terrible and is starting to be a little dangerous.

The pants were on sale and, because I refuse to pay for shipping, I got all four pair for $85 and some change. So, I got new pants that will fit from a store that hasn't been an option for me in at least 15 years and I saved money. It is a really good feeling all around.

Food Log: 12.27.08

I debated whether I was even going to have my splurge day this week since I had my two days of indulgence for Christmas.  But I decided to go ahead with my routine because this weight loss journey is a marathon and not a sprint.  I have to do this for the long haul.  The only way to do that is if it works for me.  Splurge Saturday works for me.  It leaves me feeling fulfilled and able to do well the other 6 days of the week because I always know it is there waiting for me at the end of the week.  I did well though.  I only ate the maximum number of WW points I am currently allowed.  So, Splurge Saturday wasn't even that much of a splurge day.

Tomorrow will be a low points day to balance out splurge day and the Christmas free for all.  I have a project that I am working on that will take most of the day, so it should be quite easy to only consume around 11 points.

food	ww points
l: tortilla chips [1 basket] *chachos*	11
l: guacamole [6 oz] *chachos*	6
l: bean & cheese tacos [2] *chachos*	14
s: skinny vanilla latte [grande] *starbucks*	3
Total:	34

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

I went ahead and walked even though I really didn't want to do it today.  I managed to get 2 miles in.  This was my playlist:

Food Log: 12.26.08

I got right back on track today after my 2 days of Christmas. It was a difficult day because I wanted to eat all.day.long. But I had the right foods on hand and made it through without faltering.

I didn't walk 3 miles, but I plan on being really active this weekend and will more than make up for the lack of activity today.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
b: coffee w/ sugar free creamer [1 - 16 oz]	2
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: bran buds [2/3 cup] *all bran*	2
l: greek pasta salad [5 oz] *central market*	3
l: grilled asparagus [4 oz] *central market*	2
s: coffee w/ sugar free creamer [1 - 16 oz]	2
s: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
s: baked pita chips [4] *garden of eatin'*	1
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow*	1
d: vegetable lasagna [1 square] *central market*	9
d: wilted spinach [4 oz] *central market*	2
Total:	27

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Game On

In the comments for my Time Out post, about taking a 2 day diet break for Christmas, MizFit asked:

how was it? are you feeling today?

Yes. I am most definitely feeling it today. My body is not happy with me at all. I ate things yesterday that I haven't eaten in months. I feel achy and very ill at ease.

I didn't dare step on the scale this morning because I don't want to know how much I regained in my Christmas indulgence all out food fest. I am not proud of myself at all. However, I am very much over any desire to indulge for a very long time now. I want my body to return to feeling like a well oiled machine that isn't bogged down with crap.

The good news is that today is a brand new day and the horror of Thanksgiving and Christmas treats is past and the New Year always brings new resolve. I am back on track and am looking forward to breaking the 100 pounds lost barrier sometime next month.

Game on!

Time Out

I decided to take a short break from my diet for the Christmas holiday.  I think it is important to indulge a little for these 2 days and then resume business as usual on Friday.

This will be no full scale indulgence.  I will still stick to the lacto-vegetarian diet and resist sugar for the most part.  I just won't count points and worry about calories or fat.  Sugar is my biggest enemy and as long as that is under control then I think 2 days of indulgence is not going to hurt me much.

The holidays are almost over and all of the temptations that it brings will disappear.

Merry Christmas Y'all!

Food Log: 12.23.08

We has our departmental Christmas lunch today and we ordered Mexican food from Chuy's.  It was delish.  I did however, refrain from the Chik-Fil-A mini chicken biscuits that my boss brought for breakfast.  They were a) too many points and b) meat.  I knew lunch was coming and I didn't want to overdo it.  I am so glad the holidays are almost over and I can really stick to my routine.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ sugar free creamer [1 - 16 oz]	2
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: orange [1 large]	2
l: guacomle tacos [2] w/ refried beans, rice, cheese, tortilla chips *chuy's*	28
Total:	33

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

I did my usual 3 mile walk.  The weather was far nicer this evening, so the walk was much more enjoyable.  I don't have to shovel snow or wear special shoes to walk so I feel blessed.

Edited To Add: I found out about Project Playlist and wanted to add this to my post to display the playlist I listened to on my walk. I am a 1980s kid and 80s music is what pumps me up the most. So you will find as time goes on that it comprises most of the tunes I choose for exercising.

Meet My New Walking Buddy

My boss, sneaky thing that she is, ordered everyone an iPod shuffle for Christmas.  How she was able to keep this a secret for a month is a Christmas miracle because she can't keep a secret to save her life.  She gets all excited and blabs about everything (especially if it is good news).

Well, she had sent out an email last month under the guise that she was conducting a personality test.  We couldn't ask any questions about it (I did ask of course, being the Virgo that I am, and got nowhere).

The instructions in the "personality test" were to pick the color that appealed to us the most from the following list:

• Silver
  
• Blue
  
• Green
  
• Pink
  
• Red
  

I chose Red.

Today I found out what my color meant - a new 2GB Red iPod.

I already own a 4GB iPod Nano, but have wanted another one so that I could use it just for my Walking playlist.  

Now I have a new walking buddy.

Food Log: 12.22.08

My boss brought in these cute little puff pastries that she made and I had 8 of those for breakfast.  They were really good and filled me up for most of the day.  It was nice to have something different.

I was running late this morning and couldn't pick up my lunch and I refused to buy anything from the food court in our building because 99% of it is crap.  So I finished off some black beans I had left over from Friday and mixed in a Laughing Cow wedge.  It was pretty good.

It is 40 degress right now in Houston and I still did my 3 mile walk.  I am quite proud.  Consistency is the key with me.  If I have a routine and stick to it I do well.  I vary from that routine and anything can happen.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [3 - 16 oz] *central market*	3
b: puff pastry w/ cream cheese, whipped topping & fruit [8]	12
l: black beans [1.5 cups] *central market organic*	6
l: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow*	1
s: chewy granola bar w/ protein - nutty peanut butter [1] *quaker*	3
Total:	25

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

WSR: Weight 289.6 - Weight Left To Lose 119.6

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 289.6 lbs
Pounds Lost: 80.4 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 119.6 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 21.73%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 40.20%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 45.4
BMI Lost: 12.5

I started out the week at 291.8 and achieved a loss of 2.2 pounds. I am thrilled with that loss especially considering the time of year that it is where everyone seems to yield to the idea that is okay to wolf down cookies and candies and various other treats like it is the last time they will ever eat in their lives. I've largely resisted that urge and come out lighter for it.

I don't know what it is about the 119.6 weight that seems to please me so much. I guess it is because I have less than 20 pounds to lose until I have lost a total of 100 pounds. It is quite surreal because I've not been focused on the end goal and to know that I am thatclose to losing 100 pounds is amazing to me.

This week I plan on eating normally, between 25-30 points worth of food daily. I want to trick my body into thinking that everything is okay and it can return to not thinking it is being starved. I will resume the high points/low points plan next week. Did anyone know about the Wendie Plan? I didn't know that what I had naturally stumbled onto was an actual plan. Hmm. Well, it seems to work for me and I will definitely keep using this strategy, albeit not as regularly as the Wendie Plan seems to support.

Food Log: 12.21.08

I was feeling really lazy today and didn't want to make that much effort in what I ate.  So, I walked down to Wendy's and had a pretty darned good fast food dinner for only $3.  It was fast.  It was easy.  It was cheap.  It stayed pretty close to the points range at which I was aiming.  It gave me all that was all I was looking for.

I've got to give Wendy's huge props on their nutritional information pages.  They offer all of the nutritional information for items right off the menu; and also allow you to customize your food and updates the nutritional information to include those customizations.  I wish all restaurants did that.  It makes it really easy to stick to the plan.

It is also pretty cold outside right now so I am not going to do the 3 mile walk I had planned.  I've already walked 5 days for a total of 15 miles this week.  The walk to Wendy's was .57 miles each way.  So, I still got in a 1.14 mile walk.

food	ww points
d: sour cream and chives potato [1] *wendy's*	6
d: caesar side salad [1] *wendy's*	7
Total:	13

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Food Log: 12.20.08

Saturday is my splurge day.  I can eat anything I want as long as I stay within my goal points range.  It is important for me to have this day so that I won't feel like I am trapped in diet hell never able to have any of the stuff I have always loved.  And I looooove Mexican food.  It is my desert island food.  You know the "if you could only take one thing to a desert island what would it be" question?  Mexican food is it for me.  I could eat that stuff morning, noon and night and never tire of it.  I'm a spicy food kind of gal and Houston has such an assortment of high quality Mexican food.

My goal today was to eat around 39 points.  I hit that right on the head.  So, tomorrow is a really low points day and I am aiming for about 11 points.  I guess I will see on Monday when I have my official weigh-in if adding a second high points/low points set of days bumps my loss up a pound or so.  I think it will.  Unless this feeling of lethargy, instead of being blue over my non-trustworthy friend, is actually pre-pre-PMS in which case I am going to maintain instead of lose any more.  I'll see.

I really need to stop this whole cookie thing though.  They add nothing to my diet and can only lead to really bad things.  I am so not going there.  I've done too well for too long to slip up now. And as far as I am concerned sugar is just as bad as fat and high calories.

food	ww points
d: tortilla chips [1 basket] *chachos*	11
d: guacamole [6 oz] *chachos*	6
d: bean & cheese tacos [2] *chachos*	14
s: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
s: chocolate chip & macadamia cookies [2] *central market*	6
Total:	39

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

I've Got To Move It, Move It

When I began to entertain the idea that I was going to have to actually exercise to lose weight,  I thought about how fat I was (370 pounds) and what I could realistically do at that size.  

Could I join a gym and get any benefit from it whatsoever?  No.  I would join and then be completely overwhelmed by all that I was not fit enough to even attempt.  StairMaster?  Ha!  Elliptical Trainer?  No Way!  Weights?  WTH?!!!

So, what could I do at 370 pounds that would be simple enough and easy enough for me to get the benefits of exercise and increase my stamina to the point where I could try other things?

Walk!

Okay, I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking that walking is easy and how could I not have instantly arrived at the conclusion that walking would be good for me?  Well, walking was not easy.  I didn't want to walk around the corner to the bus stop every morning.  I didn't want to walk that short distance so much that I took a cab to and from work every day.  Don't even ask how much that extravegance cost me.  So, the very idea of actively walking for exercise did not appeal to me at all.

How did I get up and start doing it?  It was a slow process.  First I ditched the cabs.  I started to walk to the bus stop every day.  Once I was comfortable in that I would throw in short spurts of walking around the neighborhood - a few minutes here, a few minutes there.  I eventually started to walk in 30 minute increments at a snail's pace.  But that wasn't going to cut it.  I had to not only increase the time I walked but the distance and the speed.  How was I going to do that?  I didn't have a clue.  

Then Hurricane Ike hit Houston and messed up everything.  In the days following Ike, the power at my building at work was restored and it was decided to resume operations.  Unfortunately METRO, Houston's bus service, was not running at all.  It did resume very limited service on the day I was to report back to work.  However, only one of the buses that I take to work was running at all.  How was I going to get to work?  Then it dawned on me.  I could walk the remaining half a mile to work.  This was the start of a brand new chapter in my life.  I walked that half a mile for 4 days until METRO resumed normal operations.  It was invigorating.  I felt like I was climbing a mountain.  I felt such a rush walking that much on a daily basis.  And when METRO resumed service?  I didn't stop.  I kept going by walking that half mile to the bus stop for the second bus home every day.  It was awesome.  I was doing something every day that counted as exercise.  But after a few weeks I knew I had to do more.  But what?  Well, every day I would stop at the Central Market on the way home and grab a cup of coffee and read my book.  I did a quick search on MapQuest and found that it was exactly 2.3 miles from Central Market to my apartment.  But 2.3 miles is a lot to walk at one time.  I was scared I couldn't handle it.  One Saturday after I had lunch at CM I decided to take a test run.  I started that long walk home.  I am going to be honest.  I couldn't walk it all in one fell swoop.  I had to stop a few times along the way and rest.  But I made it.  I walked the entire distance home!  Me, the perennial couch potato, had walked 2.3 miles intentionally for exercise.  But now what?  How could I do this regularly?  I decided to start doing it 3 times per week - every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I walked home from CM.  It wasn't the fastest trip.  I could only walk a normal pace - around 2 miles per hour.  It would usually take me 70 minutes to make the trip.  After a week I was able to do it without stopping at all.  I made that walk for 6 weeks, increasing it to 5 days per week after the first 3 weeks.  I kept the same pace but I was doing it more.

Then I dipped below 300 pounds on the scale.  That event was monumental in my life because I hadn't been below 300 pounds for nearly a decade.  Plus my energy levels were through the roof.  I knew I was capable of doing more than the slow walk home every day.  I had to take it up a notch.  I did.  I am now up to walking 3 miles per day.  I've not only increased the distance, but the speed as well.  I can do that 3 miles in exactly one hour.  It didn't happen overnight.  It took me months to get here.  But I am here now.  I am doing it.  I am an exerciser!

A funny little thing I do is that I've adapted a take on the song from Madagascar as my motivational tool.  Each and every day I sing this to myself when I wake up and before I go out to do my walk.

I've got to move it, move it.  I've got to move it, move it.  I've got to move it, move it.  Move It!!!

Food Log: 12.19.08

I am so glad that this week is over.  I need some time to myself.

Today was a good day.  I stayed within the points range I intended.  I also walked 3 miles.

Tomorrow is my splurge day and is also going to be a high points day which I will follow up with a low points day on Sunday.  The weekends are the easiest days for me to pull this off because Sundays always turn into the laziest days of the week (especially during football season) and I don't want to move for nothing, even to eat.  I am shooting for a 39 points/11 points range weekend. 

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ 2% milk [1 - 16 oz]	2
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: bran buds [1/3 cup] *all bran*	2
l: black beans [1 cup] *central market organic*	4
l: sauteed snap peas & carrots [4 oz] *central market*	2
l: roasted yukon gold potatoes [5 oz] *central market*	4
s: baked pita chips [9] *garden of eatin'*	2
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow*	1
d: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [6 oz] *central market*	4
d: israeli couscous [5 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	26

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Food Log: 12.18.08

Today was a rough day. Someone I trusted has turned out to not be quite so trustworthy. After starting out on the right note I finished the day by eating 3 chocolate chip cookies at Central Market out of self pity.

Note to Self: This will not become a habit! Lets nip this thing in the bud. No more cookies!

My intention had been to only eat 25 points today. I'm still within my daily allotted WW points range though. I am allowed up to 34 points. So, even with the cookie indulgence it wasn't all that bad.

Even still, I did drag myself out to walk 3 miles. All I wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed and cry a few tears at the end of the day. Instead of wallowing I logged 3 more miles this week. I'm a bit proud of that.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: bran buds [1/3 cup] *all bran*	2
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
l: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	2
s: coffee w/ 2% milk [1 - 16 oz]	2
s: baked pita chips [9] *garden of eatin'*	2
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow*	1
d: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: sauteed snap peas & carrots [4 oz] *central market*	2
d: roasted rosemary potatoes [4 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
s: chocolate chip cookies [3] *central market*	6
Total:	32

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Slow And Steady: Perception Vs. Reality

I started this weight loss blog on October 24th of this year. I had already lost 62 pounds and felt like it was safe to start another blog because I'd clearly passed the point in which I would ditch the diet and return to my former bad girl ways of eating really crappy food and not moving an inch.

In my quest to achieve success, I have abandoned all of my previous tried and didn't work strategies and gone in a completely different direction. It has paid off.

One of those things that I used to do before was focus heavily on the end goal - where did I want to end up in my perfect world when I'd lost all the weight I wanted to lose. I no longer do that and instead focus solely on today.

What is the goal today? The goal is to eat right (low calorie, low fat, low sugar, high fiber). The goal is to move my voluminous rear end off the couch and get some exercise.

In doing just that I have not really paid too much attention to where I've already been. So, it was a great shock to me, as I looked back to October 24th, how much weight I have lost just since I've started the blog - a total of 18 pounds! That is astonishing. It tells me that my former perception of small losses never leading anwhere is false. Small losses add up over time. Slow and steady works. That is my new reality.

Food Log: 12.17.08

Today went very well. I stuck to the low points plan and it wasn't hard to do.  I don't feel deprived.

I also walked 3 miles this evening so I am hoping the scale moves me down over the 80 pounds lost line tomorrow morning.  I guess I will see if the high points/low points experiment pays off when I did it intentionally.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
b: bran buds [1/3 cup] *all bran*	2
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: wilted spinach [5 oz] *central market*	2
l: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [5 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
Total:	14

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Food Log: 12.16.08

My plan this week is to have a few high points days then followed by a low points day.  Since I ate so much today, I will follow it up tomorrow by only eating around 12-15 points.  This seems to really produce results and give me a higher loss for the week.  I will see what happens now that I am doing it intentionally to get those same results.

I caved this evening and indulged in 2 cookies at Central Market.  I'm not making a big deal about it.  I ate them.  They filled my craving (after being bombarded with holiday goodies for weeks at work) and now I can move on.  I did move on quickly though and walked 3 miles after I got home.  So, at least there is balance.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ half & half [1 - 16 oz]	3
b: oat bran hot cereal [1 cup] *quaker*	6
b: light & fit carb & sugar control yogurt [1] *dannon*	1
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: black beans [1 cup]	4
l: oven roasted root vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	5
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz]	1
s: baked pita chips [9] *garden of eatin'*	2
s: light swiss cheese [1 wedge] *laughing cow*	1
d: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: sauteed snap peas & carrots [4 oz] *central market*	2
d: roasted rosemary potatoes [4 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
s: chocolate chip cookies [2] *central market*	4
Total:	39

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Food Log: 12.15.08

Today was a strange day. I had to skip breakfast because I couldn't eat it before 11 AM. So I packed a lot of my points late in the day.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
l: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
l: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	2
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
d: black beans [1 cup]	4
d: spicy chik'n patty [1] *boca*	3
d: red delicious apple [1 large]	2
d: veggie chili [1] *boca*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	22

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

WSR: Weight 291.8 - Weight Left To Lose 121.8

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 291.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 78.2 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 121.8 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 21.14%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 39.10%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 45.7
BMI Lost: 12.2

I got back on track this week, after my 2 week Thanksgiving indulgence, and stuck to my plan. I'm down 3.2 pounds for the week.

I think I've discovered that if I have a really low points day following a high points day then I lose a lot more weight during that week. So, my plan is to throw two of those days in this week and see if I can bump my weight loss up to 5 pounds for the week. I will probably do this every 2-3 weeks so that my body doesn't figure out what the frak is going on.

All in all, I am impressed with my total loss and the rate that it has been occurring. I've avoided any long term plateaus thus far and that makes me very happy being rewarded with a loss each and every week.

Food Log: 12.14.08

I wasn't feeling particularly well today so I stayed in all day and didn't eat anything until dinner time.

food	ww points
d: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: sauteed snap peas & carrots [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: roasted potatoes [5 oz] *central market*	3
s: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
Total:	11

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Me: The Mundane, The Painful & The Weird

Mara @ 24 steps to go, tagged me with a meme, here are the rules:

1) Link to your tagger and list all these rules in your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by including links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Okay, now what can I tell y'all without putting you to sleep before you reach #7?

1. I have a barbed wire scar that runs the full length of the underside of my left arm. I acquired it in the 2nd grade when a boy pushed me into a barbed wire fence during recess.

2. I flunked Clothing in high school. The project I was working on - a dotted swiss shell shirt - required a button. I was frustrated with the process and attempted to make a button hole with a pair of scissors, stabbed myself in the finger and had to go to the emergency room.

3. I cannot whistle. I've tried time and again but it never comes out right.

4. I'm a political junkie. I've been one since childhood and my first political memory is of attempting to stay up late enough to see who won the race between Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter. I failed at that attempt because I was sent to bed on time anyway. The first thing I asked the next morning was "who won"?

5. 24 is my favorite show on television. It will return next month for the first time since May 2007. That is a long time to go without Jack Bauer and some guy they said was dead, but a whole lot of people never really believed was, is returning. Squee!

6. John Steinbeck is my favorite author. He is so quintessentially American.

7. I have a high tolerance for pain. I absorb it very well and rarely make a sound when I am hurt. My mom accidentally slammed my thumb in a car trunk when I was a kid and never knew it until she saw me put ice on it.

Are you still awake? I hope so.

This is actually the toughest part of the meme - picking my tagees. Who shall it be?

Tagees to TBA

Scrapping The Plan

I'm a planner.  I rarely do anything at all without first having analyzed it to death and drawn up a plan to carry it out.

So, in regards to this whole losing 200 pounds thing I had very definite ideas of how things would play out, because I had a plan.

Step 1 - Lose 200 pounds

Step 2 - Start To Live My Life

Its a short plan.  It doesn't involve too many steps.  Clearly there is a line in the sand that has been drawn.  I will lose weight and then start thinking about living my life and thinking about all that it entails, including maybe actually attempting to have a relationship.

Someone told me once that "man plans and God laughs."  God must get a real kick out of me because I am sure that I am a constant source of amusement with all of the planning I do.  I can't help it really, I'm a Virgo and that is the very core of our existence - keeping order.

So having mapped out this fantastic plan that just can't fail, because it has steps and all, I find myself in a pickle because Step 2 is starting to kick in before Step 1 is complete.  How the frak did that happen?  Didn't Step 2 get the memo that it was to wait until Step 1 was done?  Argh!

I have found myself being interested in a man that I believe is interested in me.  He's analytical and awkward like myself.  That is appealing.  It is also frustrating because neither one of us can pull the trigger and actually talk about all that has been going on between us.  We've been doing this dance for nearly a year now.  

I don't know how this happened in the first place because I always have my guard up to shield myself from being hurt via rejection and complete humiliation.  The constant tape that runs in my head screams that I'm not ready yet!  I haven't finished losing all of the weight that will make me attractive to men!  But the funny thing is that I didn't have my guard up with him.  I didn't need to.  Of all the men in the world for me to become attracted to and have feelings for he was not even in the top 80% of that list.   In fact, I detested him for the first two years that I knew him.  I was safe with him.  But now?  I'm not safe at all. 

You know that scene in Sixteen Candles where Sam is standing in front of Jake at the dance and just can't speak to him?  That is me.  I feel like that all the time with him.  My heart is constantly in my throat.  I am sure it is the same with him.  He blushes an awfully lot when he speaks to me.  It is endearing and maddening at the same time.  We have so much fun together and always find ourselves hanging out together at all of the functions we attend.  It is hilarious that two awkward, socially inept people who were forced into attending these events in the first place will now stay and talk to each other the entire time.  I want more.  And now I am finding myself wanting to embrace Step 2 before I have even completed Step 1.  Actually, I want to scrap the plan entirely.

Food Log: 12.13.08

Saturday is my splurge day. I am allowed to eat pretty much anything I want that falls within the total number of allowed WW points for a single day. My current points range allows me to eat up to 34 points. I did go over the limit by 5 points but I've also eaten anywhere between 9 and 11 points less than I'm allowed each day this week. So, I think I am good.

I also walked about 3.75 miles today. I don't do activity points for the simple reason that I know that I would abuse them by eating more than I should and then not actually exercising. I might add that flexibility in when I get nearer to my goal weight, but for now I don't ever allow myself to count activity points as part of my diet plan.

food	ww points
l: tortilla chips [1 basket] *chachos*	11
l: guacamole [6 oz] *chachos*	6
l: bean & cheese tacos [2] *chachos*	14
d: roasted potatoes [4 wedges] *central market*	3
d: grilled brussel sprouts [3 oz] *central market*	2
d: wilted spinach [5 oz] *central market*	2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	39

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Food Log: 12.12.08

I had a very emotional day today and I really wanted to binge on chips and guacamole and chocolate cookies. But I dug deep, had a healthy dinner and called it a day.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
b: veggie corn dog [1] *morningstar farms*	3
b: oat bran hot cereal [1/2 cup] *quaker*	3
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: grilled asparagus [6oz] *boca*	3
l: greek pasta salad [5 oz] *central market*	4
d: vegetable lasagna [1 square] *central market*	8
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	25

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

New Jeans!

I am the PROUD new owner of my first pair of sized 24 jeans that actually fit!

The jeans I chose are a pair of blue/black Denim Lite Wide Leg jeans at Avenue that were on sale for $19.99.

I really cannot remember when I last fit into a size 24 anything.

:does the dance of joy:

I am wearing these to work tomorrow. It will feel so good to not have to wear a pair of pants that drape off of my body because I've lost so much weight.

Food Log: 12.11.08

I normally eat a 1/3 cup of All Bran Bran Buds (awesome source of fiber) mixed in with a yogurt each morning. But I have been finding that with the colder weather I am craving heavier, higher carbohydrate foods. So, I made an adjustment and am trying out the veggie corn dogs from Morningstar Farms this week. I really cannot tell the difference between these and the regular variety of corn dogs. They are that good. I throw in a teaspoon of spicy mustard and I get the satisfaction of a hot, heavy meal without paying a high caloric price.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
b: veggie corn dogs [2] *morningstar farms*	6
s: navel orange [1 - large]	2
l: veggie chili [1] *boca*	3
l: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	1
l: pasta rustica w/ portobello mushrooms [5 oz] *central market*	3
d: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
d: steamed vegetables [5 oz] *central market*	1
d: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory*	1
d: medium banana [1]	2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	23

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

Non-Scale Victories: Just Say No & Losing My Pants

I've got two non-scale victories to brag about today.

Just Say No

For some unknown, completely insane reason the people in my department thought that it would be a great idea to bring in treats every day for the three weeks prior to Christmas. As if the holiday season isn't fraught with enough high calorie, high fat, sugar laden food as it is, they decided to amplify the influx of goodies that go straight to our tummies, hips, thighs and rear ends. So, not only have I had to fight my own daily inclinations to eat things I know I shouldn't but I am faced with this onslaught on a daily basis. It is my worst diet nightmare come true.

But you know what?

I have said no each and every day. The hardest day was last Wednesday when an enormous tray of oh so decadent brownies arrived that kept looking at me and imploring me to "eat me"! It was a torturous two days waiting for others to finally finish them all.

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself and impressing nearly everyone that hears that I am abstaining from this round of dangerous indulgence. I'm losing weight this holiday season while everyone else is packing it on.

Its a good thing.

Losing My Pants

I began this final weight loss journey at a whopping 370 pounds and squeezing into a size 32 jeans. I am now at 294 pounds and 10 pounds away from being solidly in a size 24 jeans (I can wear regular size 24 pants now). As soon as I can really get into the jeans, I am going to restock my wardrobe with new pants. I think it is good idea to wait until then because I will be a smaller size and it will be a longer period of time before I have to buy an even smaller sized set of pants.

But I say all of that to set up this incredible thing that is happening this week. I am now able to slide my pants on and off without needing to unbutton or unzip them. It was a pretty surreal thing to experience for the first time. I've never had any of my clothes be too small big for me before (see?, I can't even write it out it is such a foreign concept to me) and I must say I enjoy it a great deal.

Food Log: 12.10.08

I have decided to start logging my food here instead of at Calorie Count because I think that Roni's Twitter tool (Tweet, Eat, Post) is absolutely fantastic and much easier to use. Plus I get the added benefit of it being a part of the blog instead of hidden away.

My food log @ Twitter is twim_food for anyone that wants to follow it there.

food	ww points
b: coffee w/ skim milk [2 - 16 oz] *central market*	2
b: veggie corn dogs [2] *morningstar farms*	6
l: flame grilled veggie burger [1] *boca*	2
l: couscous w/ spinach & feta [5 oz] *central market*	3
l: grilled asparagus [4 oz] *central market*	2
l: medium banana [1]	2
d: spicy chik'n patty [1] *boca*	3
d: steamed vegetables [4 oz] *central market*	1
d: smart & delicious tortillas [1] *latortilla factory*	1
d: medium banana [1]	2
s: coffee w/ skim milk [1 - 16 oz] *central market*	1
Total:	25

Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Can You See Me Now?

On Monday I had a conversation with my boss about my experiences with the world at large since I've been losing weight.

It turned into one of those chicken or the egg type of conversations.

I expressed to her that there are people who are now noticing and speaking to me that never once acknowledged my existence before. This is pretty much an universal change in behavior - with people inside and outside of work that I've encountered.

It has puzzled me why they are now able to see me. Why was I invisible before? Was the 76 pounds of fat I used to carry around a shield through which I just couldn't be seen? I'm the same person, right? I am still just as smart, just as stubborn, just as geeky as I've always been. What has changed? Was it the fat? Or have I, in fact, changed internally as well?

Angella, my boss, told me that the biggest comment she has had about me in the past year is that I am now more open with other people. I now venture outside of my cubicle and interact with others. Okay, I will give her that. I do know that I've always shielded myself from insult and rejection by being reclusive. But is this the thing that has prevented me from being seen before? Have I, with the weight dropping off, become different? I suppose I have been more social. It is something I made a point of working on in 2008 because I was really unsatisfied with that area of my life and wanted to change it.

However, I have always written off my invisibility factor to being overweight. The unwritten law of this world is that if you are fat and you are a woman you are judged and perceived far differently than anyone else. It doesn't matter how smart, funny, moral, etc. that you are because all of those attributes are secondary to the shell that you inhabit.

I am more confident after losing weight. I bought new clothes that aren't stretch pants and tee shirts. I now wear make up. I cut my hair earlier this year and do more than throw it into a pony tail every day. I bought a flat iron for crying out loud! And even worse, I know how to use it! Who is this woman that actually cares about her appearance?

So, all of that translates into an easier time of being open to others and that draws them to me which enables me to actually be seen instead of slipping through this world unnoticed.

I think it is the chicken and the egg in this situation. I am now seen because I've lost weight, but I am also seen because I am more confident because of losing weight.

Non-Scale Victory: Sitting Pretty

Okay, so picture this...

BEGIN SCENE

A 75 pounds lighter, but still plus sized, gal boards a bus in the big city on her morning trip to the place that gives her money to pay the bills and all the free bad coffee she can drink.

Alas, the bus is full and there is no seating available for our heroine.

Then out of the blue a kid stands and gives up his seat for her. A momentary thrill of knowing she won't have to hang on to the rail for dear life as the bus plummets down the road flutters in her uncaffeinated heart.

But a wave of dread arises as she realizes that the seat offered up is a two seater that faces to the middle of the bus instead of the front of the bus and she will not fit without spilling over into the personal space of her fellow passenger.

Oh no! What is she to do? She doesn't want to make the other person uncomfortable by squeezing in to a seat too small for her size. But then our heroine remembers that she is a lot smaller than she used to be and gosh darn it that seat looks awfully good at this time of morning. So, she lowers herself into the available space hoping that she isn't wedged in too tight.

And then...

The seat is the right size for her. She isn't squishing her fellow seat mate. She isn't inflicting mounds of fat on an unsuspecting and undeserving commuter. She fits!

A round of Hallelujah is singing in her head and imaginary fireworks dance above. It is a glorious day!

END SCENE

Awesome!

WSR: Weight 295.0 - Weight Left To Lose 125.0

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 295.0 lbs
Pounds Lost: 75.0 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 125.0 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 20.27%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 37.50%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 46.2
BMI Lost: 11.7

First the bad news. I have not been "dieting" the past two weeks, having given myself permission to indulge over the Thanksgiving weekend it wound up becoming a two week break. I didn't go too far off the rails though because there were limits to what I would eat. I stuck with vegetarian dishes and limited the portions of what I did eat even though it was higher in fat and calories than my "diet" really allowed.

But here is the inexplicable good news - I somehow lost 1.2 pounds in the process. My presumption is that I allowed my body to think things were back to normal and it got all relaxy and stuff and then *BAM* I went back to my diet this past weekend and dropped 1.2 pounds before it even knew what hit it. Yay!

Now I am left with a nice symmetrical amount of weight to lose - 125 pounds. That right there is 5 sets of 25 pound units. So, after achieving my second goal of losing that last pesky 3.8 pounds - it is on to the third goal of dropping that first set of 25 pounds.

WSR: Weight 296.2 - Weight Left To Lose 126.2

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 296.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 73.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 126.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 19.96%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 36.90%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 46.4
BMI Lost: 11.5

My Weight Chart:


I started out the week at 298.2 pounds and achieved a loss of 2.0 pounds.

Okay, this is the point in my weight loss in which I really need to double down on my commitment level. I am not losing a lot of weight each week. I won't get the emotional payoff of seeing 5+ pounds drop off the scale all the time. I need to be okay with that. I need to be satisfied with any sort of loss or even to maintain my previous loss each week when I hit the eventual plateau.

My plan this week is to simply do what I know to do - take each day as it comes and do exactly what I know is to be done today - eat right and get some exercise.

In the end, today is all that matters and I know I can handle today.

WSR: This Week Has Been Preempted

I have obviously skipped the weekly stats report this week. I just didn't post it in time. So, I will post updated stats on Monday. I did update the ticker and the sidebar though.

I haven't gone off plan. I am still doing all of the things I need to do. I am still losing weight. The scale is still drifting downward and there is even a shift in my stomach region (the last area to show any progress).

My mind has been elsewhere this week because I made a huge leap of faith and took a risk that I never expected to take at this point and I am waiting to see if it pays off. I hope it does because it took every ounce of bravery that I possess to ask for what I want. My mantra this week has been to just have faith - faith in myself and faith in another. That is hard to do for someone hell bent on maintaining control as tightly as I have always done. It is very hard to do.

New "Old" Clothes

As I packed on the pounds I had not kept a lot of my old clothes at smaller sizes. It was far too depressing to see them in the closet and know that I could not wear them because I was just too big.

But I did keep a few of my most favorite items in the hope that I would ever be able to fit into them again. I suppose all of us that struggle with weight do this to one degree or another.

Well, after reaching a sub-300 pound weight, I tried on a few thing that have been relegated to the darkest recesses of the closet and found that quite a few of them fit. So they have been moved to the front of the closet and I now have some new "old" clothes to wear!

I have gotta say that success is most awesome. I've done the failure thing and I like this much better. It is such a new experience for me.

The Cinderella Pact

Do you like chic lit books?

Have you ever been a dropout of Weight Watchers?

Then meet Nola Devlin. Nola is every woman that has struggled to lose the weight and find her inner princess. Great book!

NOLA DEVLIN HAS A SECRET IDENTITY. By day she is an overweight, frumpy, and overlooked editor at Sass! (the "celebrity magazine with an edge!"), but by night she slips behind her keyboard and into her alter-ego: Belinda Apple. Belinda is thin, gorgeous, British and the author of a trendy advice column— she is, in effect, the latest Carrie Bradshaw. Not even her two best friends or her self-absorbed sister (who worships Belinda as the "sister she never had") know her secret.

When "Belinda" jots off a column about how easy it is to lose weight, Nola is shocked when her best friends take her own lies to heart and urge her to follow Belinda's weight loss program. Since Nola can't reveal herself as the real Belinda Apple, she bites the bullet and joins her friends in making the "Cinderella Pact" — a last ditch attempt to lose weight (again!) and transform their lives for good.

But as the pounds come off, things don't turn out the way the three friends expect. Their journey of self-discovery leads to the rediscovery of an old love and the unmasking of new problems. Meanwhile, Nola finds herself torn between two different men as she stomps out fires caused by her deception as Belinda Apple and falls in love with the man who just might be her prince — or the rat in coachman's clothing.

Dieting Doesn't Need To Be Hard

When I decided to give myself one last shot at losing this wall of fat that I've been suffocating under for half of my life I knew that it had to be as stress-free as possible. I wasn't going to obsess over measuring things. I wasn't going to feel pressured to cook all the time. I wasn't going to eat nothing but frozen Smart Ones or Lean Cuisines either (although they are quite convenient in a pinch).

So, I came up with a plan. The very nexus of that plan revolved around one very special place - Central Market.

This is the place of my rebirth. It is the source of all of the good tasting and healthy foods that I am now consuming on a daily basis - steamed or grilled vegetables, couscous, roasted potatoes, quinoa, penne with asparagus, roasted red pepper hummus, wild rice, avocado sushi rolls... the list goes on.

I've made friends with the women that work behind the counter of the prepared food case and they inquire about my diet on a daily basis. I check in with them every morning about whether I've walked the night before or how much weight I've lost. They encourage me. One of them is keeping me updated on her routine too.

I hit CM twice daily. On my way to work I pick up my lunch - usually half a small container of vegetables and half a small container of a rice, grain or pasta which I add to the veggie burger or veggie chicken that I keep stocked at work. In the evening I order a decaf, non-fat, sugar free vanilla latte and spend about an hour reading whatever book I am carrying. It is a marvelous way to end the day!

I have never felt better. I don't spend a lot of money. I no longer throw food away because it winds up rotting in the bottom of my refrigerator. I buy just what I need for each day's diet. It is simple. It is easy. And it works!

So, I wrote all of this to say that dieting doesn't need to be hard. It can be rather easy if you can discover what is the right fit for you.

WSR: Weight 298.8 - Weight Left To Lose 128.8

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 298.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 71.2 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 128.8 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 19.24%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 35.60%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 46.8
BMI Lost: 11.1

I started out the week at 301.8 pounds and achieved a loss of 3.0 pounds.

A 3 pound loss in the same week as my time of the month isn't too shabby. I'll take it.

I don't plan on making any adjustments this week. What I have been doing thus far seems to be working as I had hoped. I did lose a daily Weight Watchers point with my new weight range, but seeing as I rarely eat the entire set of points I don't really feel that loss at all.

After I lose another 3.8 pounds I will have exactly 125 pounds left to go. That is 5 25 pound units and that suits my left brain self very nicely. Prior to breaking the 300 pound barrier, that was my only goal - getting below 300. Now that I have met that goal, I am going to be thinking in terms of losing sets of 25 pounds. Breaking down the larger number into smaller units really helps keep me from feeling overwhelmed by the amount of weight I have to lose.

As PastaQueen said during her trip down the scale, onward and downward!

299.2

Monday is the official weekly stats reporting day, but today is a monumental today in this weight loss journey.

Today is the day that I am officially under 300 pounds for the first time in over a decade!

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 299.2 lbs
Pounds Lost: 70.8 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 129.2 lbs

Percent Of Weight Lost: 19.14%
Percent Of Way To Goal: 35.40%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 46.9
BMI Lost: 11.0

It was tough going for most of this week because I could not understand the refusal of the scale to budge when I am doing everything right. I've had a pretty good plan to avoid stalls and plateaus because I have my cheat meals on the weekend in which I eat all of the WW points that I am supposed to eat for my weight range.

But on Thursday it became really apparent why the scale wasn't moving. It was that time of the month. I didn't even see it coming because with the new vegetarian diet and exercise, my cramps are now almost non-existent.

Now though? I am on top of the freaking world. I no longer possess a weight that starts with the number 3. What an incredible feeling!

Things To Do: Eat!

Yesterday, I somehow only wound up eating 860 calories and I only ate 1027 on Monday. That is not good. I know I must eat at least 1200 calories per day to avoid the dreaded starvation mode in which I just won't lose weight at all because my body will greedily hang on to every bit of calories that I do give it. I've been averaging around 21-23 points on Weight Watchers for the past 6 weeks or so. I am currently allotted 35 points a day, but I have been getting by on a lot less.

I think in my zeal to get to a sub-300 number on the scale I have been cutting back too much and it is starting to affect me. This morning on the bus I was feeling quite faint and a little nauseous. I thought I was going to pass out. I've learned my lesson.

The scale dipped .4 pounds this morning, but I know if I were eating enough I would have lost more this week and seen something in the 297-299 range instead of hanging on around 301.

So I am eating more today. I am going to eat around 1500 calories (30 WW points) to get my body back to a normal blood sugar level. I want to lose weight, but I also want to be healthy while doing it. Making myself sick is not on the agenda.

Moments of Bravado: Week Ending 11.02.08

I read a post somewhere last month in which Jillian Michaels, of Biggest Loser fame, gave some tips for losing weight. The thing that stood out for me the most was what she said about willpower:

Losing weight is not about willpower - it's about moments of bravado, like the
moment when you ask your waiter to take the bread away from the table right
away.

I quickly printed that quote out and taped it to the top of my computer monitor at work. I read it every day, several times a day. It really did speak to me on the most basic level. Willpower is usually seen as this thing we have or we don't have and that viewpoint can really affect our success or failure in shedding the pounds. So what if it isn't willpower that we need, but it is really moments of bravado to spur us on in times we are most challenged or want to go to the next level?

This past week I had a few moments of bravado that I want to share:

• On Halloween Friday I was horrified when I turned around and noticed a big bag of candy on my desk. This sweet, little package was courtesy of HR. Now the sentiment was nice, but the reality of what that little bag of goodness could do to me was quite ghastly. So, I promptly threw it over the cube wall to my co-worker (knocking over her tea cup in the process) and told her to take it home to her husband and son. She quite graciously forgave my moment of craziness and relieved me of the many calories and grams of sugar that my body does not need and I really don't want at this point.



• On Saturday I thought I would experiment a little bit. I normally take the bus while running errands and slip in pockets of walking throughout the day. However, this Saturday I determined that if my destination was 3 miles away and under that I would walk instead. It was a giant success. I clocked in at walking 8.26 miles by the end of the day. What did this tell me? My fitness level is through the roof and I can do anything I set my mind too.

In both of these situations I wasn't bracing myself to resist temptation or attempt something I've never done before. I chose at those moments to take the brave action instead of the easy one. And these moments of bravado brought me out of last week healthier and fitter than when I entered it.

So ask yourself, what moments of bravado have you undertaken? What action did you take to ensure your success in reaching your goal?

WSR: Weight 301.8 - Weight Left To Lose 131.8

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 301.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 68.2 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 131.8 lbs

Percent Weight Lost: 18.43%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 47.3
BMI Lost: 10.6

I started out the week at 306.8 pounds and achieved a loss of 5.0 pounds.

Two weeks ago I switched to eating fruit and/or popcorn for dinner and cut out potatoes from my meals on the weekends. These changes allowed me to lose 5.2 pounds. I am happy to see that it carried over into last week as well giving me another 5 pound loss.

This week, however, I plan to eliminate my "cheat" meal on Sunday. I feel like I no longer need it. I receive enough satisfaction from the one I eat on Saturday. As I lose weight it will be important to keep making adjustments because my smaller size won't require the same diet plan.

Taking It To The Next Level

The good news is that I am 1.8 pounds away from dropping a total of 70 pounds and being under 300 pounds for the first time in about 7 years.

The bad news is that my burn meter keeps going down on Calorie Count. I've lost 30 calories this week alone. This means I have to move more to lose the excess weight.

But I have a plan to take my exercise to the next level. I'm getting a bike!

I've been walking 2+ miles every week night along with 5+ miles each Saturday since the beginning of September. But I am finding that this routine has gotten far too easy and I think I need to do more to up my game. So, I will be scouring craigslist and The Greensheet for a good used bike to use as my main source of transportation. So long METRO. Hello pedal power! This is truly exciting. I will not only burn more calories per hour but I will be doubling the amount of exercise I get each day because I will be biking to and from work.

Who is this woman that is excited about exercise? I don't recognize her at all. But you know what? I think I like her!

Is This Me?

As of today, October 28th, 2008:

• I have lost a total of 64.8 pounds.



• I am 1.2 pounds away from being one third of the way through losing the total amount of weight I want to lose. Update: I hit the mark today (10.29.08). One third of the total amount of weight I wanted to lose is gone!



• I am 5.2 pounds away from breaking the 300 pound barrier - heading downward on the scale instead of upward.



• I am 35.2 pounds away from losing a total of 100 pounds.

Is this me?

Seriously! Is this me? I am finding myself feeling completely overwhelmed that I have lost this much weight. I am successfully dieting and getting healthy for the first time in my entire life. I am thrilled beyond belief, but I am also feeling a bit of terror as well. It is hard to explain this to people because there should be no downside to losing weight, should there? I am finally doing the one thing I have wanted to do since I began to pack on the pounds back in my early 20s. I am finally conquering the one thing that has crippled me emotionally and physically for half of my lifetime.

So, why is there so much anxiety involved? I assume it involves losing the wall of fat that has kept me safe for so long. There aren't a whole lot of choices to be made when you begin to resemble a large farm animal except deciding whether to wolf down pizza, burgers or tacos each night. But now the wall of fat is crumbling and a new, thinner, healthier version of me is emerging. I am really kind of scared of the bright lights and all of the options that are suddenly being thrust upon me. These things are scary! I might have to actively engage in my own life instead of merely being a bystander in others' lives. How do I do that? How do I become the woman I have always wanted to be, but couldn't because of the prison I've been stuck in for my entire adult life? I've lived on the outskirts of society, never daring to stake my own place in this world. Now? I've got things to figure out. The whole world is opening up to me in ways that I have never had to face before. It is also happening a whole lot sooner than I even anticipated when I've dreamed of what I would do IF I ever lost weight.

See? I am having a bit of a panic just typing this post while thinking about all of it.

How do I do this thing called life now?

WSR: Weight 306.8 - Weight Left To Lose 136.8

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 306.8 lbs
Pounds Lost: 63.2 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 136.8 lbs

Percent Weight Lost: 17.08%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 48.0
BMI Lost: 9.9

I started out the week at 312 pounds and achieved a loss of 5.2 pounds.

I've been steadily losing 2-3 pounds per week, but I made two adjustments this week:

1. I started eating fruit and/or popcorn for dinner instead of a full meal of vegetables and grains or pasta. I found that it was too much for me that late at night.


2. On the weekends I allow myself to eat one really good meal each day (within reason) that uses up all of my allotted WW points. This allows me to "cheat" without really cheating at all. But over time, I have slowly cut that meal down to match my current appetite. This week I cut out the normal side order of potatoes I usually eat. I didn't miss them at all.

Those two changes really made a difference in my rate of loss. I think I will keep them both up to see if I can match that rate again this week.

WSR Intro: The Current State Of My Weight

I am stealing PastaQueen’s model of reporting stats because she is such an inspiration to me in this endeavor. She’s trod the path and come out on the other side half her size. Imitation is the sincerest yada, yada, yada. She should be extremely flattered.

Height: 5'7"
Age: 40

Starting Weight: 370 lbs
Goal Weight: 170 lbs

Current Weight: 308 lbs
Pounds Lost: 62 lbs
Pounds Left To Lose: 138 lbs

Percent Weight Lost: 16.8%

Starting BMI: 57.9
Current BMI: 48.2
BMI Lost: 9.7

As you can see I am nearly one-third of the way to my goal weight. That is pretty darned successful, right?

The single most important thing that I have learned in this process is that I simply have to do what I can do today. If I can do that, then I will reach my goal. Focusing on today is a far less daunting task than facing the prospect of shedding 200 excess pounds.

And that in a nutshell is where I currently am at in this process. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. And quite frankly I am also completely stunned at what I’ve achieved so far. It is mind boggling that this former sedentary couch potato who constantly sucked down mountains of high fat, sugar laden foods is now 62 pounds lighter and a whole lot fitter than she was at the start of this year.

Now that I know that the train has officially left the station and is chugging down those tracks slowly and surely towards the destination I feel confident that blogging this journey is the right thing to do. I want a record of this to really see what I think and feel every step of the way.

Official weekly stats reporting will be on Monday. So, I may have even more of a loss to officially report in a few days. Stay tuned!

My Plan

So, what is different now? What makes THIS attempt so much different than the 813 (more or less) other times I have tried to lose the weight, get healthy and rid myself of this prison of blubber I've been trapped inside of for far too long?

Well there are actually quite a few things that are different.

These are the things that have had the biggest impact on getting this thing done this time:

• My new plan involves taking everything I've ever done before and doing the exact opposite. Because what I've done before just did not work. So if I do that which is diametrically opposed to what did not work then I should achieve success, right?



• I have realized that I can never eat like a normal human being again. I am not normal. I am someone that takes their love for foods and all the comforts that they bring to the absolute worst extremes. So, I cannot snack. I cannot indulge in just a little of this or a little of that. I have used up all of my snacking points. I have to start paying down the debt that has turned my body into something resembling a big, lumpy sack of cement that has no form or shape to identify me as an adult woman in the prime of her life. I had to break up with Ben & Jerry's. I had to tell The Burger King goodbye. Those cute little 100-calorie snack packs that seem so reasonable? I had to cut them loose. And I then cancelled all of my appointments with Dr. Pepper. It wasn't them. It was me. I had to move on. It was really hard to walk away. It was painfully sad and many tears were shed; but ending those relationships were really for the best. I am not on a diet that has an end date. I am making substantial changes in how I eat for life.



• A truly startling change is that I am now going on 4 weeks as a vegetarian. Me, the gal whose favorite meal in her life involved a medium-rare steak fresh off the grill, has given up all meat and eggs. And you know what? I feel great! I have never felt so good in all of my life. I feel less sluggish and all of the aches and pains I used to have are gone. I still eat dairy. I'm not choosing a vegan diet; I am just cutting out foods that involve ending a life to satiate my appetite. After giving up half and half in my morning coffee, I refuse to give up my skim milk too. And my morning yogurt is the only thing that helps me to get my daily cup of Fiber One down. But going meat-less and egg-less is a place to which my change in diet has naturally evolved.



• And the biggest change? This is the one that makes me know that this time is going to be the last time. I have started to exercise. I don't mean I do a few sit ups and count walking to the bus stop as a workout regimen. I mean that I have a real daily routine. I walk every single day except for Sunday. God rests on the seventh day; and if He gets a day off then I should get a day off too. I walk over 2 miles every night Monday through Friday and on Saturday I get even more mileage in. I have done this routine for about 6 weeks now and it has really paid off in ways I never imagined. All of those folks that tell you to exercise along with diet? They were right. It works! My body is shifting and I can see it developing some semblance of a real shape. And next month stage two of my exercise plan kicks in and that involves ditching my bus card to commute by bike. I plan on purchasing a bike and using that as my main source of transportation to and from work each and every day during the work week. I am already pretty excited about making this change because it burns more calories than walking and I expect to see even bigger changes in my body and my fitness level.

So that is how THIS time, I am going to do this incredibly hard thing. I’ve already started to do it and had great success thus far. The difference is that this time I know I’ve got this. I know that a new slimmer, healthier me is on the horizon. I’ve never truly had that feeling before. I’ve had hope with a side of finger crossing to spur me on; but I have never had that feeling deep down that this time is the time that I succeed. How big of a success have I achieved so far? Read on.